It's not just me. It's everyone I know...going through things.
It's in the atmosphere. It's background to everything-- even when I have a smile on my face. I'm plotting, I'm planning, I'm forcefully trying to pull my life in another, more positive direction. Life fights me. I fight back. It is what it is. I live, I breathe in and I write. I share bits and pieces of myself so I can remember what got me here in the first place.
The point is... I am here...wherever "here" is at this stage in my life. I'm approaching another birthday in a few weeks. And the only thing I want...
Happiness.
Wrap it up in a box. I get it in fleeting moments, but I want it at least with some degree of consistency. I'm not asking for world peace, just steady peace of mind. I realize that life is not going to go easy on me just because I want it to, but something has got to give...or at least make it a fair fight. I feel like David with a slingshot and a handful of rocks, but my aim is off (I am so using that in a poem...lol).
My point being if I could just get that one thing...everything else would fall into place
...if only. Le grand sigh!
2 comments:
I found myself feeling exactly the same way for years. I would hit rock bottom, find some sort of motivation to pull myself back up, and eventually fall back down.
Finally, for the first time in my life, I feel like I am actually happy versus "distracted" by little bouts of happiness on occasion.
I highly recommend you read and follow a book called "Clarity Quest" by Pamela Ammondson. I started blogging about it but it became too much work to type out all the chapters. You can get it on Amazon for around $4.
Honestly, it changed my life.
Here is the start of the blog: http://theclarityquest.blogspot.com
Thanks Amber! I'm ordering some books from amazon so I'm going to look it up. :)
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