Episode 31- This is NOT up for discussion

The (truncated version) of the conversation I just had...

Me: Hello.

S: I'm unhappy without you.

Me: Thought we agreed not to talk.

S: I'm unhappy without you. I really want to work it out

Me: Ok, well this is not up for discussion

S: I want you back

Me: this is not up for discussion

S: can't we talk about it

Me: this is not up for discussion

S: How're you just so cold like that. You just want to give up?

Me: (feeling confuzzled since we broke up like more than 2 months ago and I KNOW I said I was FINISHED and put it in WRITING no less). Um, yeah.

S: So what should I do, I don't want to be with anyone else except you.

Me: I don't know how to advise you on that, because as I said, this is no longer up for discussion. Let it go.

S: C'mon man.

Me: this is not up for discussion

S: You know I will show up at your house.

Me: I don't think you have it in you, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did. Doesn't matter though, cause I don't want to talk about this.

S: You don't think I have it in me?

Me: Nope. But again, nothing would surprise me.

S: I just want to talk to you.

Me: at the risk of repeating myself...this topic is not up for discussion. Not now, not later.

S: We can't talk about this at all?

Me: What exactly is there to talk about? I said what I had to say last time and I told you I am tired of you fence straddling. You do NOT know what it is you want. One minute you want to be with me next minute you don't, then you want to be my friend, next minute you can't...I'm done! End of discussion.

S: I know what I want. I want you. You know this hurts me and you're not thinking about anyone except yourself.

Me: Actually, YOU are not thinking of anyone except YOURself. I made myself VERY clear. Repeatedly. I know what I said 'cause I was THERE when I said it. Period. This topic is NO LONGER up for DISCUSSION.

---call ends. Ten mins later...

Me: (exasperated.) Hel-lo.

S: (sounding tearful) So do you want me to leave you alone?

Me: (for the love of Jesus, Allah, Buddah, Mary, Joseph, Confucious and Captain Crunch) YES!

----
Did anything I said seem unclear there? I didn't think so. **Sigh!**

Episode 28- Comprehension Skills and Chicken and Waffles

Ok...

I had pretty much kept quiet about S since the breakup. But TODAY I was sufficiently pushed over the edge over to feel COMPELLED to write commentary. This is not a good thing...

Apparently S has what I like to refer to as Chicken and Waffles Syndrome. Lemme 'splain...

Have you ever walked into a restaurant and not known what you want to eat? you don't know whether you have a taste for something salty or something sweet, your palatte is having conflict of interest issues...the cure for this is chicken and waffles. Seriously! For some reason the combination of those two things eaten at any time of the day will immediately cure whatever craving you had, stop you from fence straddling, increase your decision making and comprehension skills as well as cure your hunger...even better if it is followed by an Arnold Palmer (that's half sweet tea, half lemonade).

I would love to force feed S an entire bucket of fried chicken and about 50 waffles cause right now I feel like there are some serious issues with indecision going on over here.



When we broke up, I was crystal clear about what I wanted and where we stood. The only thing I could've done to be clearer about it was skywrite it. I said I wanted us to be friends and the response I got was no.

If someone tells me we can't be friends then I have no need to call you, IM you, have idle chit chat or rehash any parts of our relationship.

So imagine my surprise when I get a call weeks later from S complaining about how I made no effort to call or speak.

Ooooooooooooooooooook?

Whatever.

Yesterday, S calls me, apologizes, tells me that we should attempt to be friends. I'm thinking wow, ok...this is mature. Glad we can handle this like adults. But I start seeing where this might be headed when we spoke last night...the conversation kept steering in the direction of talking about the relationship. RED FLAG.

This brings me to today...we are on IM this morning. S starts joking about seeing someone new. Truth be told I don't care. Yeah it kinda hurts, but who am I to stop you at this point. I'm the one who walked in the first place so, do you. When I asked about it, S does what S always does to get a reaction out of me which is avoid my question by asking about my daughter.

Pump your brakes got damn it!!!

I'm not going for it and I said so. So, S calls me at WORK with an attitude no less and then pulls a 180 and says we need to get back together.

Say what?

Ok...lemme get this straight... first you tell me you can't handle being friends and then suddenly you can, then you turn around and start this bs about you want us back together.

Eat some chicken and waffles and make up your got damn mind!!!

My decision has BEEN made. I'm full and I have the itis. *BURP* Check, please!