30 Day Challenge- Day 2 My First Love

Ok wow,

This is kind of a heavy topic for Day 2. LOL.

I could spin this two ways--the first time I thought I was in love or the first time I KNEW I was in love. I'll go with the latter.

I'm not emotionless, but I can't just fall in love. For me it never worked like that, because when I love, I love hard or not at all. My first (real) love made me crazy. It was spontaneous, spur of the moment adrenaline rush all the time, like that split second before the roller coaster comes over the top of the first hill type *ish.

Honestly I fought it for a long time because somehow secretly I just knew (and perhaps this was self fulfilling prophesy) that no matter how much or how hard I loved it just wasn't going to be the forever thing.

but I wanted to just be in that split second before the hill.

I know I'm kind of sounding poetic--and maybe later I'll turn this into a poem, but anywho...

So going back to this whole roller coaster metaphor, at some point it had to go down...actually the whole relationship was like that. When it was good it was AWESOME and when it was bad, it was the 3rd circle of hell. There was never any balance in it, but I wanted to stay in it waiting for that next twist or flip.



And just like that it was done. I can't say just like that because we were together for a few years. It wasn't the fact that I was cheated on--I was one foot out the door when that happened. It wasn't the families, stress or the fights. I guess it just wasn't fun anymore. Ironically, the last thing I did before I left was say "I love you."

I meant it.

I'm over it. Looking back now, I see it as an experience, a chapter in my life that one day I'll write down. It'll make more sense then.

Episode 33- The Good, The Bad and Philly

I have a rather odd relationship with the city of Philadelphia.

Every time I've ever been, there's always something...drama, something...

This time...surprisingly enough aside from a parking ticket (ugh!) and a slight detour into New Jersey, I actually enjoyed myself.

If you know my history with Philly, you know why this shocks me. I'll have to cliff note those stories (plural) in another episode.

In any case, the show went ridiculously well. And that's despite starting on serious CPT
The crowd was great. The other artists were really really good. We acted like straight fools. I was head nodding with the DJ so hard my neck and shoulders actually hurt.

And I pulled off probably the greatest stunt in the history of poetry... I exaggerate but it was still pretty awesome. How 'bout we did a sound check right and everything was good. Later I get on stage and I'm starting my first (and hardest) piece with music no less, (so I'm trying to time it in my head) and the mic starts acting a mess, so mid poem, without stopping I pulled off a mic switch...not once, not twice, but 4 times!! not to mention during the hand offs the DJ was adjusting the sound and music so I'm keeping up during all of this and still killed it.

Then I messed around and did a hip hop song in front of a crowd of MCs from Philly/NJ and NY. Lemme find out I was really feeling myself huh? lol.

Again surprisingly enough it came of really well.

So after last night despite some minor stuff, I may have to rethink my relationship with Philly...maybe instead of hate, I'll amend it to love/hate, because right now I have nothing to hate about the city of brotherly love.