Episode 61- I'm Convinced It's Made Out of Platinum and Crack...

I haven't laughed this hard in quite awhile...

So my brother calls me, I think I've posted about him before--he was the one that the GF who hid out in his closet until she fell asleep and got busted (still one of the funniest stories EVER!!). He has a crazy, insane history with some crazy, insane women--including a deranged baby mama and a more deranged ex-wife.

Ok...so the story goes my brother decided to move to Florida a few months back to be closer to his kids (because the ex wife moved there). He and the ex have a very up and down relationship, mostly because she's a nutjob! I know she's a nutjob--I've known this chick for years because they actually started dating back when we were all still in high school.

So the other day my brother tells me that this chick got mad over some lame bs. He sat on the sofa and laughed at her (I know him well enough to believe him when he says this, because he's just as laid back and as big of a smart ass as I am), this crazy bitch called one of her friends and just randomly started yelling "you better not hit me again" to make it seem like he'd put hands on her--he was smart enough to a) not touch her and b) roll out.

Tell me why?

Tell me why this looney tunes called him yesterday asking if she could come by and get some
d!ck.

Errr [insert Shaggy and Scooby noise]

Um yeah...

and then to top it all off...cause it can get no funnier... BMD (that's what we call his baby mama--BMD= Baby Mama Drama) called and said that (even though she has a new boyfriend and like 6-7 kids) she wants to move down to Florida to be with my brother.

WTF? Where they do that at? and who does that? LMAO.

Just wow!

Ladies I'm not knockin the man, cause he's my homie, my brother from another mother--but seriously did I miss the memo about a shortage of good d!ck (yes I realize the irony of that question coming from me)?

It cannot possibly be that crucial. smdh. rotfl. woo lawd these dumb ass chicks kill me.