30 Day Challenge- Day 5 My Definition of Love

Again...ironic topic. I just had this discussion a few days ago.

Definition of love to me...depends.

But in terms of romantic love...

-It's being there at their best and their worst and in spite of and because of
-It's knowing when to speak up and/or shut up
-It's comfortable silence
-It's seeing the potential
-It's remembering the past tense
-It's never having to compromise or sacrifice yourself in order to know what it feels like
-It's beautiful intensity and ugly truth

30 Day Challenge- Day 4 What I Ate Today

Ironically I skipped this day because I ate something not to good the day before--made me feel none too good. LOL

But for the record when I did eat it was Pad Thai. Delicious

30 Day Challenge 3- My Parents

This should be pretty easy.

I have a rather unconventional family. I don't know my dad's side of the family. I was raised by my mom and I have (for lack of a better description) a "step dad." Their whole deal is kinda convoluted and I stopped asking years ago--lol. They're not married but they've been together more on than off for the better part of 25 years. I just refer to them as the odd couple.

The 'rents are both retired. They're not that old but they're drifting into the realm of only wanting to do "old people stuff" like go to senior day at the local casino (though neither is even old enough to get social security...so again, not that old...lol).

In their past lives (lol) my mom was Wonder Woman--still is. She's the ONE person I would NEVER want to get in a fight with even if she weren't my mom (ex cop, ex military, martial artist). My step dad was/is a electrical/electronics geek who can take apart and put computers back together. They both have their quirks. I have a odd but strangely normal relationship with them. I love them even when they get on my ever lasting nerves which is frequently...lol. But, I wouldn't trade them. Eh! That's about it.

30 Day Challenge- Day 2 My First Love

Ok wow,

This is kind of a heavy topic for Day 2. LOL.

I could spin this two ways--the first time I thought I was in love or the first time I KNEW I was in love. I'll go with the latter.

I'm not emotionless, but I can't just fall in love. For me it never worked like that, because when I love, I love hard or not at all. My first (real) love made me crazy. It was spontaneous, spur of the moment adrenaline rush all the time, like that split second before the roller coaster comes over the top of the first hill type *ish.

Honestly I fought it for a long time because somehow secretly I just knew (and perhaps this was self fulfilling prophesy) that no matter how much or how hard I loved it just wasn't going to be the forever thing.

but I wanted to just be in that split second before the hill.

I know I'm kind of sounding poetic--and maybe later I'll turn this into a poem, but anywho...

So going back to this whole roller coaster metaphor, at some point it had to go down...actually the whole relationship was like that. When it was good it was AWESOME and when it was bad, it was the 3rd circle of hell. There was never any balance in it, but I wanted to stay in it waiting for that next twist or flip.



And just like that it was done. I can't say just like that because we were together for a few years. It wasn't the fact that I was cheated on--I was one foot out the door when that happened. It wasn't the families, stress or the fights. I guess it just wasn't fun anymore. Ironically, the last thing I did before I left was say "I love you."

I meant it.

I'm over it. Looking back now, I see it as an experience, a chapter in my life that one day I'll write down. It'll make more sense then.

30 Day Challenge- Day 1 The Introduction

Ok, so I'm slacking on my blog(s), I needed some motivation and to boot I have to keep a blog as part of my class so I'll just call this practice.

Thanks to both @Kingsmomma and @Malika (both very funny, interesting and well written blogs) I've decided to take up the 30 day challenge. There is a list of topics starting with today's which is where apparently I am supposed to introduce myself...

So here it is.

This is me: I'm a writer, spoken word and hip hop artist, editor, grad student and a mom (not necessarily in that ORDER). I'm funny, sarcastic, honest (sometimes brutally),I have a quick wit. I am in fact a genius (or close to it) and a certified super nerd.I am also super eclectic--my taste in various things run all over the map (particularly with regards to music)

I enjoy the usual fun stuff but for the most part I'm pretty laid back and kinda go with the flow. I'm a Libra if you couldn't tell by that last statement. LOL. My birthday is in fact next week. (I know this sounds very Miss America Pageant-ish)My dislikes include liars, closed minded individuals and sweet potatoes (I will in fact gag on site).

I see myself as the person no one else sees coming, if that makes sense. I'm, I guess what they call the "X factor" like the one thing you didn't expect that just changed the game. That's always been me--the secret weapon if you will. I have an abundance of hidden talent.

What else?

Oh yeah, if you've been reading this blog you know that certain things and wild stories seem to happen to me and nobody else but me...lls...and hence I document it all here. What fun would life be otherwise?


Day 1 down.

Episode 67- The F*%CK Up

I realize I am a lot of times really hard on myself--especially when it comes to my writing and my performances.

So last night I had a chance to audition in front of A&R for a major label...yeah, tell me why on any given night I can blow 'em out of the water and last night I would've begged for the sandman to pull my ass off stage like I was at the Apollo.

First, I FORGOT!!!!!!! (WTF?) as in blanked out, on a piece I have done like 650 times--

Normally this would not be a big deal, breathe in slow down start over...EXCEPT... I had decided to do the poem over music. So now I'm struggling to pick up and my timing is off and then it was deja vu Philadelphia--the mic cut off, not once but TWICE. Now not only am I struggling to stay on point but I'm doing mic handoffs midset, the AC is broken so I'm sweating like a runaway slave. FML. This just looks, feels and sounds like a scene from a very BAD movie.

Ugh.

sooooooo...needless to say I didn't make the cut for the project I was auditioning for. Sucks to be me. Maybe next time.

Episode 66-the DJ at the Coffee Shop

I haven't blogged. I'm slacking. But I've been excusably busy--songwriting, poetry writing, school and I got a promotion so I am training my replacement. Yeah me. Now for today's random JS moment...

So yesterday I was with the new co-worker in the morning. I was starving! So I suggested we walk over to the coffee shop in our new building (my office has moved in the last month since our old building had a mold issue--ewww!)

I've only ever been to this coffee shop once since usualy I grab my coffee on the way to work. As I walk up to the counter, I catch sight of one of the employees. Now, ironically enough despite my obsession with weird names--I'm in fact really bad with remembering people's names, but I am good with remembering faces. So I'm looking at this girl and I'm thinking I know her from somewhere. I started to say something and then I caught sight of her name tag and suddenly it dawned on me--

Ok, so back up a little. Late last year I had been invited to a mixer at a gay club. I ended up there by myself when the person that invited me cancelled on me at the last minute. I mean it was cool, I had a nice evening. I had a few drinks and hung out for awhile--they had a really great female DJ. I only remember this because a) she was good and it's odd to see a girl DJ and b) she had an off beat name. Fast forward--the girl behind the coffee counter was the DJ.

Now, I could've said I remembered her, but that would've meant saying where I knew her from and yeah I wasn't about throwing anyone under the bus while I was standing there with my co-worker. So I ended up holding my tongue. It kind of trips me out how the world is small and flat. *shrugs shoulders*

Enjoy the weekend!