This conversation I'm about to have with you has come up repeatedly in recent weeks...
Here the scenario... you meet someone, you really click with them. Things are going well, you're really getting along. This person tells you up front that they're into you, but they're kind of in a weird place when it comes to relationships and as such, the two of you decide to keep it platonic for the time being.
So although your feelings are with this person, technically you're still single. If you found yourself in a position to potentially have sex with someone else--an ex lover... would you? and if you did, would you feel the need to disclose this information even if you KNEW there was no other way for the other person to find out?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Episode 47- 33 like the record
That's how old I am today...for the record. Nothing profound today. Just wanna celebrate! :)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Episode 46- Life, Love and the Pursuit of...something that resembles happiness
It's not just me. It's everyone I know...going through things.
It's in the atmosphere. It's background to everything-- even when I have a smile on my face. I'm plotting, I'm planning, I'm forcefully trying to pull my life in another, more positive direction. Life fights me. I fight back. It is what it is. I live, I breathe in and I write. I share bits and pieces of myself so I can remember what got me here in the first place.
The point is... I am here...wherever "here" is at this stage in my life. I'm approaching another birthday in a few weeks. And the only thing I want...
Happiness.
Wrap it up in a box. I get it in fleeting moments, but I want it at least with some degree of consistency. I'm not asking for world peace, just steady peace of mind. I realize that life is not going to go easy on me just because I want it to, but something has got to give...or at least make it a fair fight. I feel like David with a slingshot and a handful of rocks, but my aim is off (I am so using that in a poem...lol).
My point being if I could just get that one thing...everything else would fall into place
...if only. Le grand sigh!
It's in the atmosphere. It's background to everything-- even when I have a smile on my face. I'm plotting, I'm planning, I'm forcefully trying to pull my life in another, more positive direction. Life fights me. I fight back. It is what it is. I live, I breathe in and I write. I share bits and pieces of myself so I can remember what got me here in the first place.
The point is... I am here...wherever "here" is at this stage in my life. I'm approaching another birthday in a few weeks. And the only thing I want...
Happiness.
Wrap it up in a box. I get it in fleeting moments, but I want it at least with some degree of consistency. I'm not asking for world peace, just steady peace of mind. I realize that life is not going to go easy on me just because I want it to, but something has got to give...or at least make it a fair fight. I feel like David with a slingshot and a handful of rocks, but my aim is off (I am so using that in a poem...lol).
My point being if I could just get that one thing...everything else would fall into place
...if only. Le grand sigh!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I Got My Ass Kicked By Life and That B!+@h is Wearing Steel Toe Boots
...I think that would be a great book title. Sigh!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Episode 45- SMH. The 'L' Word Part 2
So I'm back from vacation and some interesting developments have occurred since our last installment.
I didn't want to be the one to say I told you so, but... damn it I told you so... see, going back to our last episode, where I was venting about the use or overuse of the "L" word, why is it that now all parties have removed the stardust from their eyeballs and showing themselves for who they are.
DJ and Angie are ok...they met, everything was great. Until... I asked Angie if she was still "in love" and. I. got. a. moment. of... PAUSE, and a sentence that started with "well..."
SMH. You KNOW that is never a good sign... However they are still together and things seem to be going ok. So we'll just let that ride. However...
Nic and Claudia.
Le grande SIGH!
These two...the story is sounding more and more like the Young and The Restless. And if I wasn't hearing it all firsthand I almost wouldn't believe it.
So Claudia backed out of the trip she was supposed to make to see Nic... because of some "work related training" that conveniently came up at the last minute. I would tend to believe that on face value but there are some AHEM, inconsistencies in the way the story was told. I may not be good at math, but um...something doesn't quite add up. Now, I see major red flags all over the place, but I have resolved to keep my opinions to myself, so I let Nic vent and just kinda take it all in. However, here's where I have a major problem...
Nic has some serious life or death health issues. So I'm hoping against hope that I am wrong (smh) and that Claudia, for what it's worth, is being forthcoming, because nothing would be more messed up than for her to turn out to be on some retarded game playing mode and put that kinda undue stress on Nic.
As for me. It's complicated. I am trying to untangle myself and my feelings about someone. I refuse to commit to the "L" word because I know I shouldn't.
I said it before I'm not "in love" even though I might like you a little bit... sigh . WTH?
I didn't want to be the one to say I told you so, but... damn it I told you so... see, going back to our last episode, where I was venting about the use or overuse of the "L" word, why is it that now all parties have removed the stardust from their eyeballs and showing themselves for who they are.
DJ and Angie are ok...they met, everything was great. Until... I asked Angie if she was still "in love" and. I. got. a. moment. of... PAUSE, and a sentence that started with "well..."
SMH. You KNOW that is never a good sign... However they are still together and things seem to be going ok. So we'll just let that ride. However...
Nic and Claudia.
Le grande SIGH!
These two...the story is sounding more and more like the Young and The Restless. And if I wasn't hearing it all firsthand I almost wouldn't believe it.
So Claudia backed out of the trip she was supposed to make to see Nic... because of some "work related training" that conveniently came up at the last minute. I would tend to believe that on face value but there are some AHEM, inconsistencies in the way the story was told. I may not be good at math, but um...something doesn't quite add up. Now, I see major red flags all over the place, but I have resolved to keep my opinions to myself, so I let Nic vent and just kinda take it all in. However, here's where I have a major problem...
Nic has some serious life or death health issues. So I'm hoping against hope that I am wrong (smh) and that Claudia, for what it's worth, is being forthcoming, because nothing would be more messed up than for her to turn out to be on some retarded game playing mode and put that kinda undue stress on Nic.
As for me. It's complicated. I am trying to untangle myself and my feelings about someone. I refuse to commit to the "L" word because I know I shouldn't.
I said it before I'm not "in love" even though I might like you a little bit... sigh . WTH?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Episode 44- the 'L' word
I have inexplicably and inadventantly become a matchmaker of sorts within the last couple of weeks...
A few episodes back I wrote about the online group that I now moderate. Well as it turns out, in the last few weeks two different sets of people have managed to find a love connection. Go figure!
That in and of itself was not completely unexpected, the matched couples however were... lol.
Couple #1 I'll call "Angie" and "DJ" came together after a tug of war between DJ and a third party.
Couple #2 I'll call "Claudia" and "Nic"... well basically Nic outright stole Claudia from underneath someone else...lol.
By default I've become the person that all of them come to for advice, although I try to reserve my commentary for any number of reasons, not the least of which is I have a vested interest and a natural conflict of interest in all parties involved, ya dig?
So this morning, I managed to get them all together in a conference call session...which was hilarity in and of itself, but somewhere in the middle of sideline commentary...
the L word got dropped.
It was dropped between Nic and Claudia mutually. This I knew, but to have it confirmed...
When I left the conversation to go to a meeting, Nic had confirmed to Angie (sideline of course) that indeed the L word had been used. Funny thing was, as Angie was telling me the story, she proceeded to tell me that she was/is prepared to drop. the. L. word as well. (and since I started writing this-- DJ has said the L word is in play with Angie)
Blink. Blink.
Needless to say I was (still am) stunned. Speechless in fact.
See, me, (not that I believe any of them are guilty of this) I can't see throwing "Love" out there lightly. Yes I actually said it... L.O.V.E. the dreaded LOVE.
I'm the type of person who will only say it if I mean it. I don't want to drag anyone's emotions through the dirt and I damn sure don't want to say it and get...
*crickets*
On top of that, I've never been a forwardly emotional person. Besides that word is very, very powerful and once it is out there, you ever notice that you suddenly feel obligated to respond to it?
Hence my hesitancy to even use it in the first place. It tends to complicate things anyway.
However...
I will freely admit right here right now...
That being said... I am now watching two very happy couples in "love" and thinking to myself...
There but for a shut and locked door and a healthy dose of cynicism and skepticism goes I.
A few episodes back I wrote about the online group that I now moderate. Well as it turns out, in the last few weeks two different sets of people have managed to find a love connection. Go figure!
That in and of itself was not completely unexpected, the matched couples however were... lol.
Couple #1 I'll call "Angie" and "DJ" came together after a tug of war between DJ and a third party.
Couple #2 I'll call "Claudia" and "Nic"... well basically Nic outright stole Claudia from underneath someone else...lol.
By default I've become the person that all of them come to for advice, although I try to reserve my commentary for any number of reasons, not the least of which is I have a vested interest and a natural conflict of interest in all parties involved, ya dig?
So this morning, I managed to get them all together in a conference call session...which was hilarity in and of itself, but somewhere in the middle of sideline commentary...
the L word got dropped.
It was dropped between Nic and Claudia mutually. This I knew, but to have it confirmed...
When I left the conversation to go to a meeting, Nic had confirmed to Angie (sideline of course) that indeed the L word had been used. Funny thing was, as Angie was telling me the story, she proceeded to tell me that she was/is prepared to drop. the. L. word as well. (and since I started writing this-- DJ has said the L word is in play with Angie)
Blink. Blink.
Needless to say I was (still am) stunned. Speechless in fact.
See, me, (not that I believe any of them are guilty of this) I can't see throwing "Love" out there lightly. Yes I actually said it... L.O.V.E. the dreaded LOVE.
I'm the type of person who will only say it if I mean it. I don't want to drag anyone's emotions through the dirt and I damn sure don't want to say it and get...
*crickets*
On top of that, I've never been a forwardly emotional person. Besides that word is very, very powerful and once it is out there, you ever notice that you suddenly feel obligated to respond to it?
Hence my hesitancy to even use it in the first place. It tends to complicate things anyway.
However...
I will freely admit right here right now...
I am not "in love"
You thought I was going to say I was... LMAO... um...no.
Matter of fact, just had a whole long conversation about this. I'll say the door is slightly ajar at best, but if anyone thinks I'm opening it up anytime soon...they'll be sorely disappointed. Contrary to what you think, I'm gangsta leaning against it to keep it closed and I will duct tape it and nail it and super glue if I have to before I go dropping "love" all willy nilly...no matter how much I might like you...and I do like you, but um...it's NOT that serious, thank you! LMAO. At the same time though, I'm not one to tell someone else how they feel or how they're supposed to feel or even when they are supposed to feel it.
You thought I was going to say I was... LMAO... um...no.
Matter of fact, just had a whole long conversation about this. I'll say the door is slightly ajar at best, but if anyone thinks I'm opening it up anytime soon...they'll be sorely disappointed. Contrary to what you think, I'm gangsta leaning against it to keep it closed and I will duct tape it and nail it and super glue if I have to before I go dropping "love" all willy nilly...no matter how much I might like you...and I do like you, but um...it's NOT that serious, thank you! LMAO. At the same time though, I'm not one to tell someone else how they feel or how they're supposed to feel or even when they are supposed to feel it.
That being said... I am now watching two very happy couples in "love" and thinking to myself...
There but for a shut and locked door and a healthy dose of cynicism and skepticism goes I.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Episode-43 Ice Cubes in Hell
You know hell is well on it's way to freezing over when...
1. News of the U.S. pulling out of Iraq is completely overshadowed by Michael Jackson's funeral arrangements.
And...
2. My technologically challenged (as in I still have to explain to her how to add an attachment to an email!!!) mother just sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Sigh!
1. News of the U.S. pulling out of Iraq is completely overshadowed by Michael Jackson's funeral arrangements.
And...
2. My technologically challenged (as in I still have to explain to her how to add an attachment to an email!!!) mother just sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Sigh!
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