I've been slacking on the blogging. LOL. Looked at my account and realized I had about 5 unfinished drafts of things I guess I wanted to say at the time but never finished. Will get back to those, I promise.
For now I can say honestly I'm enjoying life. I'm relaxing in Vegas for a few weeks with my family. I can honestly say the words "relax" and "family" in the same sentence. They haven't driven me crazy surprisingly. *thinks Hell has frozen over*
Things aren't perfect, but I had a nice holiday. Still a week until I have to go back and one of my favorite people will be here tomorrow to hang out until New Years. I've really not talked to BB which is a good thing and I'm actually...
pretty happy.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Deuces
So obviously, the 30 day challenge was an epic FAIL.
I'm saying my schedule has been more screwed than a hooker and I have not had the where with all to do a daily anything except shower.
And besides, the JSM stories are way more interesting to you than what I wore today--
That said, here it is...my Jerry Springer I'm a complete douche bag moment...
So I hadn't really said anything, but I met someone a few months back who had some definite potential.
Yeah now not so much.
Hell, now not at all.
Everything was fine and dandy and cool and roses and peaches. But it's like [wait wait we need an alias...um... "BB"] BB kept changing the rules and expecting me to know how to play. One minute wants to be around me constantly--the next bitchin about "needing space." I'ma need you to sit your bi-polar ass down somewhere. You want me when you want me and that's it--my suggestion is, don't want me AT ALL. I'm at the point where even though I like you--truly I do, and I'll still jump in and throw a punch on your behalf, yeah um...no. I'ma have to say deuces.
And this just goes to prove my point. I am thoroughly and utterly convinced that I just need to stay single for good. So over the whole dating thing. And I much as I would like for us to be cool honestly I'm so over BB too. Ugh!
I've been called ruthless and heartless more times than I can count in the last few days because my friends tell me they are amazed at how I can just instantly cut people at the jugular. It's like all my emotions just turn off...
That's not it.
I care. I do. Just not enough to become a complete masochist.
One day I promise you, you're going to realize you need me around and I'm gonna be long gone.
I'm saying my schedule has been more screwed than a hooker and I have not had the where with all to do a daily anything except shower.
And besides, the JSM stories are way more interesting to you than what I wore today--
That said, here it is...my Jerry Springer I'm a complete douche bag moment...
So I hadn't really said anything, but I met someone a few months back who had some definite potential.
Yeah now not so much.
Hell, now not at all.
Everything was fine and dandy and cool and roses and peaches. But it's like [wait wait we need an alias...um... "BB"] BB kept changing the rules and expecting me to know how to play. One minute wants to be around me constantly--the next bitchin about "needing space." I'ma need you to sit your bi-polar ass down somewhere. You want me when you want me and that's it--my suggestion is, don't want me AT ALL. I'm at the point where even though I like you--truly I do, and I'll still jump in and throw a punch on your behalf, yeah um...no. I'ma have to say deuces.
And this just goes to prove my point. I am thoroughly and utterly convinced that I just need to stay single for good. So over the whole dating thing. And I much as I would like for us to be cool honestly I'm so over BB too. Ugh!
I've been called ruthless and heartless more times than I can count in the last few days because my friends tell me they are amazed at how I can just instantly cut people at the jugular. It's like all my emotions just turn off...
That's not it.
I care. I do. Just not enough to become a complete masochist.
One day I promise you, you're going to realize you need me around and I'm gonna be long gone.
Monday, October 4, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 21 Another moment
3:25 am, Monday September 13, 2004.
I asked for some cranberry juice.
The nurse gave me the crazy sideeye.
"Now?"
"Yes!"
"You can't drink while you're in labor."
"I realize this, but I really want some cranberry juice." (me thinking to myself, I haven't eaten in about 20 hours, I'l been in labor for 11 hours and whatever I had in my stomach is now in the bottom of a plastic bag)
"So, exactly why am I feeling pain?"
"She's only halfway out."
"Um...can you get her ALL the way out?"
baby cries--barely. breathing. she gave me the sleepy look, then the curious look and then the sleepy look plus a yawn.
"She's beautiful, but I promise you I am never volunteering my services for this endeavor ever again." (Laugh)
They took her away to check her and the nurses wheeled us into our room.
She just looked so little and fragile and dark with a head of hair and little ears sticking out. It still hadn't all sunk in yet, that I was someone's mommy.
But when I got back ...there were two boxes of cranberry juice on the table. I knew everything was alright
I asked for some cranberry juice.
The nurse gave me the crazy sideeye.
"Now?"
"Yes!"
"You can't drink while you're in labor."
"I realize this, but I really want some cranberry juice." (me thinking to myself, I haven't eaten in about 20 hours, I'l been in labor for 11 hours and whatever I had in my stomach is now in the bottom of a plastic bag)
"So, exactly why am I feeling pain?"
"She's only halfway out."
"Um...can you get her ALL the way out?"
baby cries--barely. breathing. she gave me the sleepy look, then the curious look and then the sleepy look plus a yawn.
"She's beautiful, but I promise you I am never volunteering my services for this endeavor ever again." (Laugh)
They took her away to check her and the nurses wheeled us into our room.
She just looked so little and fragile and dark with a head of hair and little ears sticking out. It still hadn't all sunk in yet, that I was someone's mommy.
But when I got back ...there were two boxes of cranberry juice on the table. I knew everything was alright
30 Day Challenge- Day 19, 20
I've decided to tag team these topics.
Day 19- Something I regret
I used to say there was nothing in life I regret, because I believe that everything happens for a reason and I see no reason to live dwelling on things you can neither take back or change. I still feel that way, however...
There is one taboo subject in my life, for which I carry a ton of regret. It was not a willful or malicious decision, but it lead to something that I can neither fix, take back or feel like I should not shoulder some blame for. It is the decision that changed my life and one for which even if the injured party forgives me, I will probably never fully forgive myself. I pray on it daily. That's all I can do...
Day 20-This month
Um...this month (October)
Well, I'm taking things a day at a time. This typically seems like a decent time of year for me. I'm mostly focused on school and poetry and music and I want to move on a lot of that in the next few weeks. Damn near every friend I have has a birthday this month (yeah Libras!) so I spend a good deal of October in that mode.
We'll see what it brings...
Oh yeah and I'm a big fan of Halloween so, I welcome some scary costume ideas if anyone has any...
Day 19- Something I regret
I used to say there was nothing in life I regret, because I believe that everything happens for a reason and I see no reason to live dwelling on things you can neither take back or change. I still feel that way, however...
There is one taboo subject in my life, for which I carry a ton of regret. It was not a willful or malicious decision, but it lead to something that I can neither fix, take back or feel like I should not shoulder some blame for. It is the decision that changed my life and one for which even if the injured party forgives me, I will probably never fully forgive myself. I pray on it daily. That's all I can do...
Day 20-This month
Um...this month (October)
Well, I'm taking things a day at a time. This typically seems like a decent time of year for me. I'm mostly focused on school and poetry and music and I want to move on a lot of that in the next few weeks. Damn near every friend I have has a birthday this month (yeah Libras!) so I spend a good deal of October in that mode.
We'll see what it brings...
Oh yeah and I'm a big fan of Halloween so, I welcome some scary costume ideas if anyone has any...
Friday, October 1, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 18-Favorite Birthday
My favorite birthday...
Well this past one was kinda awesome.
My birthday was about 2 weeks ago. I was treated to dinner out at the Rock and Roll Hotel. Had an awesome drunken debaucherous (lol...not so much) impromptu party. I got to hang out with some cool chicks. I almost feel like I fit in with the cool chicks. LMAO. No, but seriously--I have to say I couldn't have asked for much more out of a birthday.
For the record though...
My favorite birthday or should I say my most memorable...when I turned 17. My mom had to work on my actual birthday, but she let me play hooky from school so we could have lunch downtown somewhere. She bought me some roses and cupcakes I think (I adore cupcakes). While I was waiting down on the National Mall there was a trio of homeless musicians. Somehow we got into a really interesting conversation and they ended up playing me my own awesome little concert. I just thought that was like the coolest thing ever.
It's the last birthday that really sticks out for me.
Well this past one was kinda awesome.
My birthday was about 2 weeks ago. I was treated to dinner out at the Rock and Roll Hotel. Had an awesome drunken debaucherous (lol...not so much) impromptu party. I got to hang out with some cool chicks. I almost feel like I fit in with the cool chicks. LMAO. No, but seriously--I have to say I couldn't have asked for much more out of a birthday.
For the record though...
My favorite birthday or should I say my most memorable...when I turned 17. My mom had to work on my actual birthday, but she let me play hooky from school so we could have lunch downtown somewhere. She bought me some roses and cupcakes I think (I adore cupcakes). While I was waiting down on the National Mall there was a trio of homeless musicians. Somehow we got into a really interesting conversation and they ended up playing me my own awesome little concert. I just thought that was like the coolest thing ever.
It's the last birthday that really sticks out for me.
30 Day Challenge- Day 17- Favorite Memory
This was again supposed to be yesterday's post...I always seem to be a day or two of...lol.
My favorite memory?
I have too many great ones to choose.
One day I will write them all down.
My favorite memory?
I have too many great ones to choose.
One day I will write them all down.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 16 My First Kiss
Oh wow...my first first kiss can be summed up like this:
Awkward
Weird
Funny (in that middle school sort of humor-ish way)
My last first kiss can be summed up like this:
Intense
Uncensored
and still funny (in a grown up humorous sort of way)
...and to the person who gave me the latter, I want another one. lol
Awkward
Weird
Funny (in that middle school sort of humor-ish way)
My last first kiss can be summed up like this:
Intense
Uncensored
and still funny (in a grown up humorous sort of way)
...and to the person who gave me the latter, I want another one. lol
30 Day Challenge- Day 15 My Dreams
If you've ever checked out my other blog you already know I have lots of dreams.
I don't know if I want to call them "dreams," but more so visions of my future--I truly believe in speaking things into existence.
That said, my ultimate dream would be to travel the world and write. Travel write, poetry, blogs, finish my novel finally or maybe even start a new one. I would just like to take the whole world in and chronicle it.
Another one is this grand plan I've had for YEARS about buying out a building if I ever won the lottery. The dream is to open up my own venue, but incorporate some of the dreams of the people I know in it. For instance I have a friend who dreams about owning a restaurant so I envision building it out on the first floor. And my friend who dreams of being a professional photographer, I would give him studio space. That way everyone could live out the dreams they have.
Sigh! One day.
I don't know if I want to call them "dreams," but more so visions of my future--I truly believe in speaking things into existence.
That said, my ultimate dream would be to travel the world and write. Travel write, poetry, blogs, finish my novel finally or maybe even start a new one. I would just like to take the whole world in and chronicle it.
Another one is this grand plan I've had for YEARS about buying out a building if I ever won the lottery. The dream is to open up my own venue, but incorporate some of the dreams of the people I know in it. For instance I have a friend who dreams about owning a restaurant so I envision building it out on the first floor. And my friend who dreams of being a professional photographer, I would give him studio space. That way everyone could live out the dreams they have.
Sigh! One day.
Monday, September 27, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 14-What I Wore Today
Uno mas for the catch up.
This is not a repeat. Today's topic is also "what I wore today"
Today we have a black 3/4 sleeve shirt and a pair of grey old navy slacks (which are a size smaller than I used to wear and yet they fit nicely...go me!!) along with some black pumps--hair our except for a black band (it's raining today so I rocked the curly look). All courtesy of a come up on some extra stuff from the move yesterday.
Sidenote: I have a performance tonight and the outfit of choice will be black rock and roll t-shirt, tight dark colored jeans and my new red birthday kicks that say "genius" on the back...rock on!
This is not a repeat. Today's topic is also "what I wore today"
Today we have a black 3/4 sleeve shirt and a pair of grey old navy slacks (which are a size smaller than I used to wear and yet they fit nicely...go me!!) along with some black pumps--hair our except for a black band (it's raining today so I rocked the curly look). All courtesy of a come up on some extra stuff from the move yesterday.
Sidenote: I have a performance tonight and the outfit of choice will be black rock and roll t-shirt, tight dark colored jeans and my new red birthday kicks that say "genius" on the back...rock on!
30 Day Challenge- Day 13 This Week
Hmm...
Let's see, this past week has been rather interesting.
On my normal everyday, I went to work, got a lot done. Went to school, got most done (sigh!) I knocked out a couple of shows--always fun. As I mentioned my birthday was Thursday--I went to work and school and then had a chill evening with a friend of mine who ended up cooking me dinner for my b-day. Friday was dinner at my favorite pho restaurant and a few new friends came through and threw me a little impromptu party. Saturday a day out pseudo shopping, followed by my girls dragging me out to the Rock and Roll Hotel for dinner and drinks and a night of would be debauchery (i.e. movies and popcorn in the house along with a few more drinks...that's as debaucherous as we get...lol). Sunday I helped a friend of mine move some stuff to her new apartment.
That was my week.
Let's see, this past week has been rather interesting.
On my normal everyday, I went to work, got a lot done. Went to school, got most done (sigh!) I knocked out a couple of shows--always fun. As I mentioned my birthday was Thursday--I went to work and school and then had a chill evening with a friend of mine who ended up cooking me dinner for my b-day. Friday was dinner at my favorite pho restaurant and a few new friends came through and threw me a little impromptu party. Saturday a day out pseudo shopping, followed by my girls dragging me out to the Rock and Roll Hotel for dinner and drinks and a night of would be debauchery (i.e. movies and popcorn in the house along with a few more drinks...that's as debaucherous as we get...lol). Sunday I helped a friend of mine move some stuff to her new apartment.
That was my week.
30 Day Challenge- Day 12 What's In My Bag
This should have been Saturday's entry. I skipped #11, since I have no siblings, (that I know of).
The essentials of my bag:
1 fire red Dell lap top (weapon of choice)
2 blank and partially blank spiral notebooks (I'm a writer afterall)
wallet
cell phone
keys
camera
misc. pens
a sharpie (never leave home with it)
a rhyming dictionary
a mini devotional book
lip gloss (my makeup bag is in the car)
and somehow my bag weighs 750 pounds...le grand sigh!
The essentials of my bag:
1 fire red Dell lap top (weapon of choice)
2 blank and partially blank spiral notebooks (I'm a writer afterall)
wallet
cell phone
keys
camera
misc. pens
a sharpie (never leave home with it)
a rhyming dictionary
a mini devotional book
lip gloss (my makeup bag is in the car)
and somehow my bag weighs 750 pounds...le grand sigh!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 10-What I Wore Today
Since it's my birthday, the appropriate answer should be...my "birthday suit," but that comes later... KIDDING!!
I'll snap a picture later I swear, but the gear of the day is, black tee, skirt (I know right!! I NEVER rock skirts) and black boots, with a black letter bracelet.
I'll snap a picture later I swear, but the gear of the day is, black tee, skirt (I know right!! I NEVER rock skirts) and black boots, with a black letter bracelet.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 9 My Beliefs
I'm going to assume, this refers to religion.
Ok, will this will be short and sweet. I believe in something higher than all of us--whatever you choose to call him/her. We had a rather strained relationship for awhile, but I think we're doing better...lol. I'm not particularly religious--spiritual most definitely. I wasn't raised hardcore in the church and when I did go it was always with others. I don't think church is a bad thing at all, my beef is usually with the people in it.
But even in my cynicism and disillusion, I can say this: God is definitely good all the time!
Ok, will this will be short and sweet. I believe in something higher than all of us--whatever you choose to call him/her. We had a rather strained relationship for awhile, but I think we're doing better...lol. I'm not particularly religious--spiritual most definitely. I wasn't raised hardcore in the church and when I did go it was always with others. I don't think church is a bad thing at all, my beef is usually with the people in it.
But even in my cynicism and disillusion, I can say this: God is definitely good all the time!
Monday, September 20, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 8, A Moment
I'll call this moment "the writing session"
Me.
Standing at the edge of the beach. It's pitch black and beautiful. We'd been sitting out there for about an hour before deciding to walk to water. Lighting is flashing way out over the ocean. Every time it does all you see is just the very edges and outlines of the clouds. But it's warm and breezy where I'm standing. The water just keeps running over my bare feet.
I've got my notebook in one hand.
and I wished I had a certain person's hand in the other.
Me.
Standing at the edge of the beach. It's pitch black and beautiful. We'd been sitting out there for about an hour before deciding to walk to water. Lighting is flashing way out over the ocean. Every time it does all you see is just the very edges and outlines of the clouds. But it's warm and breezy where I'm standing. The water just keeps running over my bare feet.
I've got my notebook in one hand.
and I wished I had a certain person's hand in the other.
30 Day Challenge- Day 7 My Best Friend
Yesterday's topic: My Best Friend
Oh this is easy enough. I've had the same BFF since round about 1979. Yes you read that correctly--1979.
People think it's strange and rare that we've been friends so long...I guess maybe it is. You don't see that kind of friendship anymore. I mean we've been through some SHYT. Stop speaking, fighting, getting matching tats, calling each other in the middle of the night just for alibis, road trips to Atlanta and Miami on a seconds notice, and amazing, amazing stuff. London, Paris, relationships, weddings, kids and stupid moments of "I can drink you under the table." I mean she knows me better than anyone else I can think of and will call me on my shit and I love her for it.
If I can find them...I will add some of our childhood pics to this entry.
Oh this is easy enough. I've had the same BFF since round about 1979. Yes you read that correctly--1979.
People think it's strange and rare that we've been friends so long...I guess maybe it is. You don't see that kind of friendship anymore. I mean we've been through some SHYT. Stop speaking, fighting, getting matching tats, calling each other in the middle of the night just for alibis, road trips to Atlanta and Miami on a seconds notice, and amazing, amazing stuff. London, Paris, relationships, weddings, kids and stupid moments of "I can drink you under the table." I mean she knows me better than anyone else I can think of and will call me on my shit and I love her for it.
If I can find them...I will add some of our childhood pics to this entry.
30 Day Challenge- Day 6 My Day
Ok. I have to catch up on 3 new ones... whew! Since this was supposed to be Saturday's entry...here was my day Saturday:
I woke up early to help a friend of mine move some things into her apartment. We never got that far. Saturday got sidetracked when the two of us a) got into an impromptu writing session (that's what tends to happen with artists...lls) b) found out we were performing together the next day which turned it into a rehearsal session c) ran into a third friend who wanted to ride out to Maryland Book Exchange to trade in some used textbooks. All that capped off with a quick late lunch/early dinner with the ladies, another writing session and all plans that were suppose to happen gone out the window. lls.
I had a far more interesting day yesterday--an outdoor performance with 2 of my new favorite people, a conversation about books, life and poetry with an awesome 88 year old, dinner at 5 Guys, being trapped in DC by a terrorist/bomb scare, but I'm sticking to the rules and telling you about Saturday...lls
I woke up early to help a friend of mine move some things into her apartment. We never got that far. Saturday got sidetracked when the two of us a) got into an impromptu writing session (that's what tends to happen with artists...lls) b) found out we were performing together the next day which turned it into a rehearsal session c) ran into a third friend who wanted to ride out to Maryland Book Exchange to trade in some used textbooks. All that capped off with a quick late lunch/early dinner with the ladies, another writing session and all plans that were suppose to happen gone out the window. lls.
I had a far more interesting day yesterday--an outdoor performance with 2 of my new favorite people, a conversation about books, life and poetry with an awesome 88 year old, dinner at 5 Guys, being trapped in DC by a terrorist/bomb scare, but I'm sticking to the rules and telling you about Saturday...lls
Friday, September 17, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 5 My Definition of Love
Again...ironic topic. I just had this discussion a few days ago.
Definition of love to me...depends.
But in terms of romantic love...
-It's being there at their best and their worst and in spite of and because of
-It's knowing when to speak up and/or shut up
-It's comfortable silence
-It's seeing the potential
-It's remembering the past tense
-It's never having to compromise or sacrifice yourself in order to know what it feels like
-It's beautiful intensity and ugly truth
Definition of love to me...depends.
But in terms of romantic love...
-It's being there at their best and their worst and in spite of and because of
-It's knowing when to speak up and/or shut up
-It's comfortable silence
-It's seeing the potential
-It's remembering the past tense
-It's never having to compromise or sacrifice yourself in order to know what it feels like
-It's beautiful intensity and ugly truth
30 Day Challenge- Day 4 What I Ate Today
Ironically I skipped this day because I ate something not to good the day before--made me feel none too good. LOL
But for the record when I did eat it was Pad Thai. Delicious
But for the record when I did eat it was Pad Thai. Delicious
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
30 Day Challenge 3- My Parents
This should be pretty easy.
I have a rather unconventional family. I don't know my dad's side of the family. I was raised by my mom and I have (for lack of a better description) a "step dad." Their whole deal is kinda convoluted and I stopped asking years ago--lol. They're not married but they've been together more on than off for the better part of 25 years. I just refer to them as the odd couple.
The 'rents are both retired. They're not that old but they're drifting into the realm of only wanting to do "old people stuff" like go to senior day at the local casino (though neither is even old enough to get social security...so again, not that old...lol).
In their past lives (lol) my mom was Wonder Woman--still is. She's the ONE person I would NEVER want to get in a fight with even if she weren't my mom (ex cop, ex military, martial artist). My step dad was/is a electrical/electronics geek who can take apart and put computers back together. They both have their quirks. I have a odd but strangely normal relationship with them. I love them even when they get on my ever lasting nerves which is frequently...lol. But, I wouldn't trade them. Eh! That's about it.
I have a rather unconventional family. I don't know my dad's side of the family. I was raised by my mom and I have (for lack of a better description) a "step dad." Their whole deal is kinda convoluted and I stopped asking years ago--lol. They're not married but they've been together more on than off for the better part of 25 years. I just refer to them as the odd couple.
The 'rents are both retired. They're not that old but they're drifting into the realm of only wanting to do "old people stuff" like go to senior day at the local casino (though neither is even old enough to get social security...so again, not that old...lol).
In their past lives (lol) my mom was Wonder Woman--still is. She's the ONE person I would NEVER want to get in a fight with even if she weren't my mom (ex cop, ex military, martial artist). My step dad was/is a electrical/electronics geek who can take apart and put computers back together. They both have their quirks. I have a odd but strangely normal relationship with them. I love them even when they get on my ever lasting nerves which is frequently...lol. But, I wouldn't trade them. Eh! That's about it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 2 My First Love
Ok wow,
This is kind of a heavy topic for Day 2. LOL.
I could spin this two ways--the first time I thought I was in love or the first time I KNEW I was in love. I'll go with the latter.
I'm not emotionless, but I can't just fall in love. For me it never worked like that, because when I love, I love hard or not at all. My first (real) love made me crazy. It was spontaneous, spur of the moment adrenaline rush all the time, like that split second before the roller coaster comes over the top of the first hill type *ish.
Honestly I fought it for a long time because somehow secretly I just knew (and perhaps this was self fulfilling prophesy) that no matter how much or how hard I loved it just wasn't going to be the forever thing.
but I wanted to just be in that split second before the hill.
I know I'm kind of sounding poetic--and maybe later I'll turn this into a poem, but anywho...
So going back to this whole roller coaster metaphor, at some point it had to go down...actually the whole relationship was like that. When it was good it was AWESOME and when it was bad, it was the 3rd circle of hell. There was never any balance in it, but I wanted to stay in it waiting for that next twist or flip.
And just like that it was done. I can't say just like that because we were together for a few years. It wasn't the fact that I was cheated on--I was one foot out the door when that happened. It wasn't the families, stress or the fights. I guess it just wasn't fun anymore. Ironically, the last thing I did before I left was say "I love you."
I meant it.
I'm over it. Looking back now, I see it as an experience, a chapter in my life that one day I'll write down. It'll make more sense then.
This is kind of a heavy topic for Day 2. LOL.
I could spin this two ways--the first time I thought I was in love or the first time I KNEW I was in love. I'll go with the latter.
I'm not emotionless, but I can't just fall in love. For me it never worked like that, because when I love, I love hard or not at all. My first (real) love made me crazy. It was spontaneous, spur of the moment adrenaline rush all the time, like that split second before the roller coaster comes over the top of the first hill type *ish.
Honestly I fought it for a long time because somehow secretly I just knew (and perhaps this was self fulfilling prophesy) that no matter how much or how hard I loved it just wasn't going to be the forever thing.
but I wanted to just be in that split second before the hill.
I know I'm kind of sounding poetic--and maybe later I'll turn this into a poem, but anywho...
So going back to this whole roller coaster metaphor, at some point it had to go down...actually the whole relationship was like that. When it was good it was AWESOME and when it was bad, it was the 3rd circle of hell. There was never any balance in it, but I wanted to stay in it waiting for that next twist or flip.
And just like that it was done. I can't say just like that because we were together for a few years. It wasn't the fact that I was cheated on--I was one foot out the door when that happened. It wasn't the families, stress or the fights. I guess it just wasn't fun anymore. Ironically, the last thing I did before I left was say "I love you."
I meant it.
I'm over it. Looking back now, I see it as an experience, a chapter in my life that one day I'll write down. It'll make more sense then.
Monday, September 13, 2010
30 Day Challenge- Day 1 The Introduction
Ok, so I'm slacking on my blog(s), I needed some motivation and to boot I have to keep a blog as part of my class so I'll just call this practice.
Thanks to both @Kingsmomma and @Malika (both very funny, interesting and well written blogs) I've decided to take up the 30 day challenge. There is a list of topics starting with today's which is where apparently I am supposed to introduce myself...
So here it is.
This is me: I'm a writer, spoken word and hip hop artist, editor, grad student and a mom (not necessarily in that ORDER). I'm funny, sarcastic, honest (sometimes brutally),I have a quick wit. I am in fact a genius (or close to it) and a certified super nerd.I am also super eclectic--my taste in various things run all over the map (particularly with regards to music)
I enjoy the usual fun stuff but for the most part I'm pretty laid back and kinda go with the flow. I'm a Libra if you couldn't tell by that last statement. LOL. My birthday is in fact next week. (I know this sounds very Miss America Pageant-ish)My dislikes include liars, closed minded individuals and sweet potatoes (I will in fact gag on site).
I see myself as the person no one else sees coming, if that makes sense. I'm, I guess what they call the "X factor" like the one thing you didn't expect that just changed the game. That's always been me--the secret weapon if you will. I have an abundance of hidden talent.
What else?
Oh yeah, if you've been reading this blog you know that certain things and wild stories seem to happen to me and nobody else but me...lls...and hence I document it all here. What fun would life be otherwise?
Day 1 down.
Thanks to both @Kingsmomma and @Malika (both very funny, interesting and well written blogs) I've decided to take up the 30 day challenge. There is a list of topics starting with today's which is where apparently I am supposed to introduce myself...
So here it is.
This is me: I'm a writer, spoken word and hip hop artist, editor, grad student and a mom (not necessarily in that ORDER). I'm funny, sarcastic, honest (sometimes brutally),I have a quick wit. I am in fact a genius (or close to it) and a certified super nerd.I am also super eclectic--my taste in various things run all over the map (particularly with regards to music)
I enjoy the usual fun stuff but for the most part I'm pretty laid back and kinda go with the flow. I'm a Libra if you couldn't tell by that last statement. LOL. My birthday is in fact next week. (I know this sounds very Miss America Pageant-ish)My dislikes include liars, closed minded individuals and sweet potatoes (I will in fact gag on site).
I see myself as the person no one else sees coming, if that makes sense. I'm, I guess what they call the "X factor" like the one thing you didn't expect that just changed the game. That's always been me--the secret weapon if you will. I have an abundance of hidden talent.
What else?
Oh yeah, if you've been reading this blog you know that certain things and wild stories seem to happen to me and nobody else but me...lls...and hence I document it all here. What fun would life be otherwise?
Day 1 down.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Episode 67- The F*%CK Up
I realize I am a lot of times really hard on myself--especially when it comes to my writing and my performances.
So last night I had a chance to audition in front of A&R for a major label...yeah, tell me why on any given night I can blow 'em out of the water and last night I would've begged for the sandman to pull my ass off stage like I was at the Apollo.
First, I FORGOT!!!!!!! (WTF?) as in blanked out, on a piece I have done like 650 times--
Normally this would not be a big deal, breathe in slow down start over...EXCEPT... I had decided to do the poem over music. So now I'm struggling to pick up and my timing is off and then it was deja vu Philadelphia--the mic cut off, not once but TWICE. Now not only am I struggling to stay on point but I'm doing mic handoffs midset, the AC is broken so I'm sweating like a runaway slave. FML. This just looks, feels and sounds like a scene from a very BAD movie.
Ugh.
sooooooo...needless to say I didn't make the cut for the project I was auditioning for. Sucks to be me. Maybe next time.
So last night I had a chance to audition in front of A&R for a major label...yeah, tell me why on any given night I can blow 'em out of the water and last night I would've begged for the sandman to pull my ass off stage like I was at the Apollo.
First, I FORGOT!!!!!!! (WTF?) as in blanked out, on a piece I have done like 650 times--
Normally this would not be a big deal, breathe in slow down start over...EXCEPT... I had decided to do the poem over music. So now I'm struggling to pick up and my timing is off and then it was deja vu Philadelphia--the mic cut off, not once but TWICE. Now not only am I struggling to stay on point but I'm doing mic handoffs midset, the AC is broken so I'm sweating like a runaway slave. FML. This just looks, feels and sounds like a scene from a very BAD movie.
Ugh.
sooooooo...needless to say I didn't make the cut for the project I was auditioning for. Sucks to be me. Maybe next time.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Episode 66-the DJ at the Coffee Shop
I haven't blogged. I'm slacking. But I've been excusably busy--songwriting, poetry writing, school and I got a promotion so I am training my replacement. Yeah me. Now for today's random JS moment...
So yesterday I was with the new co-worker in the morning. I was starving! So I suggested we walk over to the coffee shop in our new building (my office has moved in the last month since our old building had a mold issue--ewww!)
I've only ever been to this coffee shop once since usualy I grab my coffee on the way to work. As I walk up to the counter, I catch sight of one of the employees. Now, ironically enough despite my obsession with weird names--I'm in fact really bad with remembering people's names, but I am good with remembering faces. So I'm looking at this girl and I'm thinking I know her from somewhere. I started to say something and then I caught sight of her name tag and suddenly it dawned on me--
Ok, so back up a little. Late last year I had been invited to a mixer at a gay club. I ended up there by myself when the person that invited me cancelled on me at the last minute. I mean it was cool, I had a nice evening. I had a few drinks and hung out for awhile--they had a really great female DJ. I only remember this because a) she was good and it's odd to see a girl DJ and b) she had an off beat name. Fast forward--the girl behind the coffee counter was the DJ.
Now, I could've said I remembered her, but that would've meant saying where I knew her from and yeah I wasn't about throwing anyone under the bus while I was standing there with my co-worker. So I ended up holding my tongue. It kind of trips me out how the world is small and flat. *shrugs shoulders*
Enjoy the weekend!
So yesterday I was with the new co-worker in the morning. I was starving! So I suggested we walk over to the coffee shop in our new building (my office has moved in the last month since our old building had a mold issue--ewww!)
I've only ever been to this coffee shop once since usualy I grab my coffee on the way to work. As I walk up to the counter, I catch sight of one of the employees. Now, ironically enough despite my obsession with weird names--I'm in fact really bad with remembering people's names, but I am good with remembering faces. So I'm looking at this girl and I'm thinking I know her from somewhere. I started to say something and then I caught sight of her name tag and suddenly it dawned on me--
Ok, so back up a little. Late last year I had been invited to a mixer at a gay club. I ended up there by myself when the person that invited me cancelled on me at the last minute. I mean it was cool, I had a nice evening. I had a few drinks and hung out for awhile--they had a really great female DJ. I only remember this because a) she was good and it's odd to see a girl DJ and b) she had an off beat name. Fast forward--the girl behind the coffee counter was the DJ.
Now, I could've said I remembered her, but that would've meant saying where I knew her from and yeah I wasn't about throwing anyone under the bus while I was standing there with my co-worker. So I ended up holding my tongue. It kind of trips me out how the world is small and flat. *shrugs shoulders*
Enjoy the weekend!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Boston is for Weirdos-Total WTF Moment(s)
So I'm in Boston for a conference. i had to wait a bit for the hotel so I took a little stroll while it was nice outside.
I saw three uber funny things in rapid sequence--
1. I sit on a bench--a homeless man walks up and sit on the bench across from me and proceeds to piss on himself. I mean just pissed--and then looked at me like "and what?" while I was still sitting with my mouth open in shock...
2. I see a midget with BLUE hair roll by on a hoveround scooter--down the sidewalk. But he was so short his little Hobbit feet were just dangling
3. And THEN...an Irish guy (with a thick accent) walks up to me and offers to pay me to go buy him a bottle of vodka from the liquor store. I agree--after which I sit back outside and dude proceeds to talk to me about vaious things. Somewhere mid conversation, he breaks out and quotes--not sings, but QUOTES (like poetry)...wait for it, wait for it...Phil Collins, Against All Odds. And starts CRYING---
[Insert visual of me trying everything IMAGINABLE not to fall out LAUGHING]
WTF!!??!! Really Boston?
Done.
Only me. LOL
I saw three uber funny things in rapid sequence--
1. I sit on a bench--a homeless man walks up and sit on the bench across from me and proceeds to piss on himself. I mean just pissed--and then looked at me like "and what?" while I was still sitting with my mouth open in shock...
2. I see a midget with BLUE hair roll by on a hoveround scooter--down the sidewalk. But he was so short his little Hobbit feet were just dangling
3. And THEN...an Irish guy (with a thick accent) walks up to me and offers to pay me to go buy him a bottle of vodka from the liquor store. I agree--after which I sit back outside and dude proceeds to talk to me about vaious things. Somewhere mid conversation, he breaks out and quotes--not sings, but QUOTES (like poetry)...wait for it, wait for it...Phil Collins, Against All Odds. And starts CRYING---
[Insert visual of me trying everything IMAGINABLE not to fall out LAUGHING]
WTF!!??!! Really Boston?
Done.
Only me. LOL
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Episode 64- Why Did You Get Married
Haven't written in minute... not for lack of episode material.
I have many stories but this is a continuing saga--Mr. X, sigh! I've talked about him before, most recently about his marriage a month and a half ago. Earlier this week we had a chit chat about how things were going. Which leads me to this question:
If you dated someone and everything was great except in one very important area, for instance sex, would you marry them knowing the situation would not improve?
For me, this would be a deal breaker. I'm not talking about a problem that can be fixed, I'm talking about sex being bad, non-existent or looked at like it was a requirement rather than something you enjoy. You can't change sexual compatibility or attitudes about sex--and if you know your sex drive is high, marrying someone who sees it that way is a set up to cheat.
Now I didn't want to say I told you so, but I saw that issue coming awhile back. I was hoping I was wrong--and to be fair it hasn't happened yet, but I get the distinct feeling it's simply a matter of time. I told Mr. X I would NEVER advocate cheating on his wife, but again I had to ask if you knew sex was a big issue and you knew your requirements in that area, did you think it would resolve itself over time or did you talk yourself into thinking you could live with it because everything else about wifey was good?
*shrugs shoulders*
If I knew her better I would grab her by the hand and talk her straight to the nearest freak shop. LMAO. If only because I want her to have a fighting chance for her marriage. Sigh!
And this is why I remain single.
I have many stories but this is a continuing saga--Mr. X, sigh! I've talked about him before, most recently about his marriage a month and a half ago. Earlier this week we had a chit chat about how things were going. Which leads me to this question:
If you dated someone and everything was great except in one very important area, for instance sex, would you marry them knowing the situation would not improve?
For me, this would be a deal breaker. I'm not talking about a problem that can be fixed, I'm talking about sex being bad, non-existent or looked at like it was a requirement rather than something you enjoy. You can't change sexual compatibility or attitudes about sex--and if you know your sex drive is high, marrying someone who sees it that way is a set up to cheat.
Now I didn't want to say I told you so, but I saw that issue coming awhile back. I was hoping I was wrong--and to be fair it hasn't happened yet, but I get the distinct feeling it's simply a matter of time. I told Mr. X I would NEVER advocate cheating on his wife, but again I had to ask if you knew sex was a big issue and you knew your requirements in that area, did you think it would resolve itself over time or did you talk yourself into thinking you could live with it because everything else about wifey was good?
*shrugs shoulders*
If I knew her better I would grab her by the hand and talk her straight to the nearest freak shop. LMAO. If only because I want her to have a fighting chance for her marriage. Sigh!
And this is why I remain single.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Episode 63- Ninjas and a Dominatrix
See, funny but completely random stuff always happens to me. I document it as much as possible because if I didn't I wouldn't believe myself. So my odd story for tonight...
I had class tonight. Because I always have trouble parking on Thursdays I decided I'd try and take the shuttle to the train station and then a couple of stops up to the building. On the way there--no problem. On the way back, it's kinda late by this point. The bus pulls up and it's full of ninjas.
Not even kidding.
Full of ninjas.
And they all start unloading off the bus. So I'm standing there like *wtf* I get on the bus, I give the driver a look--he shrugs. The bus sits there for a few minutes and then some of them get back on. Turns out the university was hosting some sort of scavenger hunt game--the apparel was somehow involved, I don't know, but whatever. Reason #684 why I kinda miss undergrad. LOL.
So, I get back and finally get a chance to sit down and check my email. First thing I see is a reply to an ad I posted re: some freelance editing/writing work. This chick who emailed me was looking for someone to write some bios. Now supposedly, the story was she's an artist manager. So I had asked her for a few details and she'd sent a reply--and something about her reply just threw me off. Call it a hunch...Now, normally, for small jobs I don't do this, but I decided to Google this chick to see if she or her company were legit.
Yeah...so I see she has one artist--who IMHO is wack, but whatever. Then I see a bunch of craigslist posts--that kinda make her sound shady, but they were expired, so I couldn't read them in their entirety. Then I see an ad on another site that I've never heard of advertising that this chick is a dominatrix. Some of her ahem "services" include spanking and golden showers.
Now understand...I'm not one to knock anyones...ahem, side hustle. I'm realizing this is a rough economy and all, but I'm saying...
... I'll pass on that.
Goodnight
I had class tonight. Because I always have trouble parking on Thursdays I decided I'd try and take the shuttle to the train station and then a couple of stops up to the building. On the way there--no problem. On the way back, it's kinda late by this point. The bus pulls up and it's full of ninjas.
Not even kidding.
Full of ninjas.
And they all start unloading off the bus. So I'm standing there like *wtf* I get on the bus, I give the driver a look--he shrugs. The bus sits there for a few minutes and then some of them get back on. Turns out the university was hosting some sort of scavenger hunt game--the apparel was somehow involved, I don't know, but whatever. Reason #684 why I kinda miss undergrad. LOL.
So, I get back and finally get a chance to sit down and check my email. First thing I see is a reply to an ad I posted re: some freelance editing/writing work. This chick who emailed me was looking for someone to write some bios. Now supposedly, the story was she's an artist manager. So I had asked her for a few details and she'd sent a reply--and something about her reply just threw me off. Call it a hunch...Now, normally, for small jobs I don't do this, but I decided to Google this chick to see if she or her company were legit.
Yeah...so I see she has one artist--who IMHO is wack, but whatever. Then I see a bunch of craigslist posts--that kinda make her sound shady, but they were expired, so I couldn't read them in their entirety. Then I see an ad on another site that I've never heard of advertising that this chick is a dominatrix. Some of her ahem "services" include spanking and golden showers.
Now understand...I'm not one to knock anyones...ahem, side hustle. I'm realizing this is a rough economy and all, but I'm saying...
... I'll pass on that.
Goodnight
Monday, April 12, 2010
Episode 62- The Twilight Zone
So last week for me officially qualified as the weirdest week in the history of the universe. Normally, my stories might be drama filled, but I try to keep it light and funny.
This past week, not so much.
I swear to you, I've never had so much happen at the same time...some of it good, most of it very bad. Culminating with a very psychedelic trip to the ER...courtesy of stress induced insomnia and a few too many sleeping pills. Note to self: I will NEVER take so much as a vitamin again as long as I live.
I don't even know where to begin with this, so I won't...other than to say it's defintely a story for the books--hence why I even make mention of it, but I pray to leave this week way back like a bad memory--close this worm hole in the space time continuum and hope that things get better ASAP.
This past week, not so much.
I swear to you, I've never had so much happen at the same time...some of it good, most of it very bad. Culminating with a very psychedelic trip to the ER...courtesy of stress induced insomnia and a few too many sleeping pills. Note to self: I will NEVER take so much as a vitamin again as long as I live.
I don't even know where to begin with this, so I won't...other than to say it's defintely a story for the books--hence why I even make mention of it, but I pray to leave this week way back like a bad memory--close this worm hole in the space time continuum and hope that things get better ASAP.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Episode 61- I'm Convinced It's Made Out of Platinum and Crack...
I haven't laughed this hard in quite awhile...
So my brother calls me, I think I've posted about him before--he was the one that the GF who hid out in his closet until she fell asleep and got busted (still one of the funniest stories EVER!!). He has a crazy, insane history with some crazy, insane women--including a deranged baby mama and a more deranged ex-wife.
Ok...so the story goes my brother decided to move to Florida a few months back to be closer to his kids (because the ex wife moved there). He and the ex have a very up and down relationship, mostly because she's a nutjob! I know she's a nutjob--I've known this chick for years because they actually started dating back when we were all still in high school.
So the other day my brother tells me that this chick got mad over some lame bs. He sat on the sofa and laughed at her (I know him well enough to believe him when he says this, because he's just as laid back and as big of a smart ass as I am), this crazy bitch called one of her friends and just randomly started yelling "you better not hit me again" to make it seem like he'd put hands on her--he was smart enough to a) not touch her and b) roll out.
Tell me why?
Tell me why this looney tunes called him yesterday asking if she could come by and get some
d!ck.
Errr [insert Shaggy and Scooby noise]
Um yeah...
and then to top it all off...cause it can get no funnier... BMD (that's what we call his baby mama--BMD= Baby Mama Drama) called and said that (even though she has a new boyfriend and like 6-7 kids) she wants to move down to Florida to be with my brother.
WTF? Where they do that at? and who does that? LMAO.
Just wow!
Ladies I'm not knockin the man, cause he's my homie, my brother from another mother--but seriously did I miss the memo about a shortage of good d!ck (yes I realize the irony of that question coming from me)?
It cannot possibly be that crucial. smdh. rotfl. woo lawd these dumb ass chicks kill me.
So my brother calls me, I think I've posted about him before--he was the one that the GF who hid out in his closet until she fell asleep and got busted (still one of the funniest stories EVER!!). He has a crazy, insane history with some crazy, insane women--including a deranged baby mama and a more deranged ex-wife.
Ok...so the story goes my brother decided to move to Florida a few months back to be closer to his kids (because the ex wife moved there). He and the ex have a very up and down relationship, mostly because she's a nutjob! I know she's a nutjob--I've known this chick for years because they actually started dating back when we were all still in high school.
So the other day my brother tells me that this chick got mad over some lame bs. He sat on the sofa and laughed at her (I know him well enough to believe him when he says this, because he's just as laid back and as big of a smart ass as I am), this crazy bitch called one of her friends and just randomly started yelling "you better not hit me again" to make it seem like he'd put hands on her--he was smart enough to a) not touch her and b) roll out.
Tell me why?
Tell me why this looney tunes called him yesterday asking if she could come by and get some
d!ck.
Errr [insert Shaggy and Scooby noise]
Um yeah...
and then to top it all off...cause it can get no funnier... BMD (that's what we call his baby mama--BMD= Baby Mama Drama) called and said that (even though she has a new boyfriend and like 6-7 kids) she wants to move down to Florida to be with my brother.
WTF? Where they do that at? and who does that? LMAO.
Just wow!
Ladies I'm not knockin the man, cause he's my homie, my brother from another mother--but seriously did I miss the memo about a shortage of good d!ck (yes I realize the irony of that question coming from me)?
It cannot possibly be that crucial. smdh. rotfl. woo lawd these dumb ass chicks kill me.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Episode 60- If Anyone Has Just Cause For Why These Two Should Not Be Wed
Ah so...it is too early in the day and in the week for such drama.
A long time ago I wrote about a bunch of drama with a friend of mine named Mr. X (I don't feel like digging up old posts or old dirt...lol). Long story short Mr. X has had, let's just say a long and sordid track record with women. But we're cool and we're friends.
Well Mr. X got married a few days ago. Which is a good thing, because maybe...just maybe he will be settled and get things together. Now the drama comes because I was not invited to the wedding. Understand that this is not coming from my end...I knew well in advance before he even said it to me to expect this. There are a few reasons why I could justify my non-invitation--mainly because we have a sort of backstory--even though this is long in the past and way, way before wifey was in the picture. I've actually met the new Mrs. X on a few occassions and she's really nice. The thing is Mr. X and I have a bunch of mutual friends... so far three of them have hit me up (publicly at that--either via FB or Twitter) asking why I wasn't at the wedding.
Ok, so how to politely explain without being all obviousman about it...
So far I've answered with the truth which is that I was at the Cherry Blossom Festival. Not sure I want to delve into it on any level with anyone who's asked me...what I feel like saying is ask Mr. X, but since I'm quite sure he's blissfully enraptured in his new nuptials I'm not sure that's the best idea since I would hate to create some marital discord.
For all intents and purposes I hold absolutely not hard feelings and I really hope things go well for them. Sigh...I think I may do best to just avoid the question all together and vow to keep my mouth shut.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
A long time ago I wrote about a bunch of drama with a friend of mine named Mr. X (I don't feel like digging up old posts or old dirt...lol). Long story short Mr. X has had, let's just say a long and sordid track record with women. But we're cool and we're friends.
Well Mr. X got married a few days ago. Which is a good thing, because maybe...just maybe he will be settled and get things together. Now the drama comes because I was not invited to the wedding. Understand that this is not coming from my end...I knew well in advance before he even said it to me to expect this. There are a few reasons why I could justify my non-invitation--mainly because we have a sort of backstory--even though this is long in the past and way, way before wifey was in the picture. I've actually met the new Mrs. X on a few occassions and she's really nice. The thing is Mr. X and I have a bunch of mutual friends... so far three of them have hit me up (publicly at that--either via FB or Twitter) asking why I wasn't at the wedding.
Ok, so how to politely explain without being all obviousman about it...
So far I've answered with the truth which is that I was at the Cherry Blossom Festival. Not sure I want to delve into it on any level with anyone who's asked me...what I feel like saying is ask Mr. X, but since I'm quite sure he's blissfully enraptured in his new nuptials I'm not sure that's the best idea since I would hate to create some marital discord.
For all intents and purposes I hold absolutely not hard feelings and I really hope things go well for them. Sigh...I think I may do best to just avoid the question all together and vow to keep my mouth shut.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Episode 59- Tippy Tie on the Panty Sty
So I was asked to explain this in further detail, but on Friday I had an intellectual conversation with Pootie Tang...of rather some dude named Oz who looked just like Pootie Tang (wa dah tah! rotfl)
Can't lie this is one of the most retarded movies ever made, but this scene always cracks me the hell up...and I swear I had to fight the urge to do this scene. Dude fo' sho looked like Pootie (leapotime...rotfl). So Pootie...errrr... well f it I'll call him Pootie, starts telling me his story (mind you we are standing outside of a restaurant) about how his baby mama went crazy--she was cheating on him while he was working (I believe he said he was a truck driver) and then tried to evict him from his house when he was on the road one night. Somehow I envisioned his baby mama looking very much like Biggie Shorty--and that ladies and gentlemen is why I need not drink that much. lol. However...in the middle of our conversation a man walks up on us looking rather um...how shall I put this gently--crackhead-ish--and proceeds to run some game about he had a baby with him and he need to get some formula for the baby. So Pootie proceeds to give dude some money while giving me the look that said clearly we both know this mofo is on game. He then says--"sometimes we get tested".
I thought about this for a minute. I realize this should've been a serious moment--but...
I f'ing lost it
I mean completely lost it. Tears down my face, howling laughing, stomach aching--lost it. Yeeeeeeeah something about getting sage advice from Pootie just wasn't right.
Smh. Done.
Can't lie this is one of the most retarded movies ever made, but this scene always cracks me the hell up...and I swear I had to fight the urge to do this scene. Dude fo' sho looked like Pootie (leapotime...rotfl). So Pootie...errrr... well f it I'll call him Pootie, starts telling me his story (mind you we are standing outside of a restaurant) about how his baby mama went crazy--she was cheating on him while he was working (I believe he said he was a truck driver) and then tried to evict him from his house when he was on the road one night. Somehow I envisioned his baby mama looking very much like Biggie Shorty--and that ladies and gentlemen is why I need not drink that much. lol. However...in the middle of our conversation a man walks up on us looking rather um...how shall I put this gently--crackhead-ish--and proceeds to run some game about he had a baby with him and he need to get some formula for the baby. So Pootie proceeds to give dude some money while giving me the look that said clearly we both know this mofo is on game. He then says--"sometimes we get tested".
I thought about this for a minute. I realize this should've been a serious moment--but...
I f'ing lost it
I mean completely lost it. Tears down my face, howling laughing, stomach aching--lost it. Yeeeeeeeah something about getting sage advice from Pootie just wasn't right.
Smh. Done.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Episode 58- The Deal Breakers
Just when I thought I was safe from the drama...
So I went out on Friday and by happenstance ended up having a conversation with a very interesting person. Turns out we have a lot in common--including the fact that he hosts a open mic venue, so out initial conversation was all about that.
Later in the evening he says he's really into me. So--we exchange numbers.
Now...if you know anything about me, or if you've read my previous entries--you know a) I don't date much--for a reason and b) I'm nothing if not upfront and honest...keep those things in mind.
So yesterday he calls me and we talk for a little while and I say, I have a couple of things you should know upfront that might be potential deal breakers
1. My schedule is really, really hectic between school, work and performing--so if you're the type that needs to be around me 24/7 that's not going to work.
2. I have a daughter. She's priority #1 so if you don't like children it's a wrap
Ok...so here's what I get in response...
1.The schedule thing I understand because I am in school too.
2.As far as kids I definitely do not have a problem with that because I have a 10 year old, 6 year old and 8 month old twins (btw he's in his 30's--and there is more than one baby mama, but according to what I'm told no baby mama drama)
So then... we continue talking and then I find out...he spent 2 years in prison.
The short story is, he's ex military and did two tours in Iraq. When he came home he had some readjustment issues and it subsequently led to a fight which led to an assault charge. Ironically he said to me that he feels like it did him good because he has since been able to get things back on track...
I didn't quite know how to react. What do you say to something like that? Does it become a deal breaker? Hmm...
If you were me, what do you do?
So I went out on Friday and by happenstance ended up having a conversation with a very interesting person. Turns out we have a lot in common--including the fact that he hosts a open mic venue, so out initial conversation was all about that.
Later in the evening he says he's really into me. So--we exchange numbers.
Now...if you know anything about me, or if you've read my previous entries--you know a) I don't date much--for a reason and b) I'm nothing if not upfront and honest...keep those things in mind.
So yesterday he calls me and we talk for a little while and I say, I have a couple of things you should know upfront that might be potential deal breakers
1. My schedule is really, really hectic between school, work and performing--so if you're the type that needs to be around me 24/7 that's not going to work.
2. I have a daughter. She's priority #1 so if you don't like children it's a wrap
Ok...so here's what I get in response...
1.The schedule thing I understand because I am in school too.
2.As far as kids I definitely do not have a problem with that because I have a 10 year old, 6 year old and 8 month old twins (btw he's in his 30's--and there is more than one baby mama, but according to what I'm told no baby mama drama)
So then... we continue talking and then I find out...he spent 2 years in prison.
The short story is, he's ex military and did two tours in Iraq. When he came home he had some readjustment issues and it subsequently led to a fight which led to an assault charge. Ironically he said to me that he feels like it did him good because he has since been able to get things back on track...
I didn't quite know how to react. What do you say to something like that? Does it become a deal breaker? Hmm...
If you were me, what do you do?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Episode 57- Things I Wish I Could Say
Ok... I am super duper annoyed today. Today is just THAT day where for whatever reason people just see fit to irk the bejesus out of me.
Normally I am a person who does not bit my tongue, but the people choosing to pluck my nerves like an out of tune banjo are people that-- for the time being-- I need to make nice with (for a host of reasons)...however, if I were allowed such luxuries I would say the following (add major eye rolling, neck popping, finger waving and teeth gnashing to get the full effect):
Normally I am a person who does not bit my tongue, but the people choosing to pluck my nerves like an out of tune banjo are people that-- for the time being-- I need to make nice with (for a host of reasons)...however, if I were allowed such luxuries I would say the following (add major eye rolling, neck popping, finger waving and teeth gnashing to get the full effect):
- You get on my fucking nerves
- I can sum up my critique in one sentence: Your book sucks.
- I'm going to need you to get a clue.
- If I don't answer my damn phone it's because I really don't want to talk to you and calling me three times back to back isn't going to make me change my mind
- You sir, are an idiot
- A salute to Captain Obvious!
- No, I can't help you. No really...I'm not a therapist
- I don't care about your day, your progress, your struggle or any of that other bullshit you're trying to lay on me
- Fuck you! Pay me!
- Please don't "help" me, "Ike" don't need your help!
- I am not--- your mother, girlfriend, confidant, therapist, personal secretary/assistant, note taker, web researcher, errand girl or your friend.
- You couldn't pay me enough...
- I plan to speak very slowly so that you understand the words that are about to come out of my mouth...
- I know what the hell I said, because I was THERE when I said it
- I hate repeating myself
- I hate repeating myself
- I HATE repeating myself
- You do things in the stupidest way possible and it's not my job to explain to you why the way you're doing it is stupid.
- For someone who claims to be all that...um...you're still extremely suspect
- My 5 year old has more skills than you
- Until there is a deal on the table-- stop talking!
- You are delusional. Need me to spell THAT for you?
- I'm beginning to suspect you like the taste of your Nikes as many times as you stick your foot in your mouth
- Seriously? That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard, but I'ma let you run with that
Friday, February 26, 2010
Episode 56- Sunshine
Short and sweet...
This has been a good, no scratch that GREAT week.
1. I got my book published.
2. I got a piece of BIG news that may even trump that, but I can't share yet until the deal is completely done and everything is signed. But it involves a pretty well known singer.
But the highlight of my week...
My daughter called me on her way to school yesterday and sang a rousing wake me up rendition of "You Are My Sunshine"
*proud mommy moment*
It made me remember why I work so hard. For all my moments and for every accomplishment sometimes the little things are the best!
This has been a good, no scratch that GREAT week.
1. I got my book published.
2. I got a piece of BIG news that may even trump that, but I can't share yet until the deal is completely done and everything is signed. But it involves a pretty well known singer.
But the highlight of my week...
My daughter called me on her way to school yesterday and sang a rousing wake me up rendition of "You Are My Sunshine"
*proud mommy moment*
It made me remember why I work so hard. For all my moments and for every accomplishment sometimes the little things are the best!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Episode 55- Wrap Your Head Around This...
So....
Awhile back--last summer I believe. I wrote a couple of posts about my friends Nic and Claudia who were dating. Now, in one of the posts I talked about how Claudia had done some things that were kinda "suspicious" to me...but I promised myself I would stay out of it...which I did for the most part other than to let Nic vent.
Long story short, Nic cut back on Claudia some was kinda seeing someone else for a while since their relationship (N and C's I mean) was long distance. I hadn't really talked to Nic that much in the last few months because of a couple of illnesses that keep her in and out of the hospital. I had all but assumed they had stopped dealing with each other...that was last I heard.
Now fast forward to yesterday...
I'm talking to Nic catching up because we haven't really talked in about a month and a half. I'm told Claudia is back in the picture and they've worked everything out and things are stronger than before. I'm thinking ok...positive changes, great for y'all
Oh but WAIT...
Nic hits me with "um yeah Claudia is moving up here and I'm going to propose on Valentine's Day" (I can post this because neither reads this blog)
wait wait wait. pump your brakes and hold on...there are several things wrong with this picture. Let's start with the most obvious...
YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON
To my knowledge...Claudia has not made a trip up and because of health Nic has never made a trip down. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am and if they did meet it was no more than ONCE. WTF???????????
Ok...let's say we can overlook that part... ARE YOU NUTS?
Nevermind that they haven't been together for a solid year. Nevermind that there is an age difference. Nevermind that...
Now...let me say I know both of them... they actually met kinda sideways through me in an online group that I moderate. I don't believe either is mentally unstable...though after that piece of news...iooono ( pronounced just like I wrote it...lol)
SMH. I can't wrap my head around this.
Again I told myself I would stay out of it, but I've been fighting the urge since yesterday to kind of go off on them, but part of me is like you know what...I want to sit back and watch this train wreck, because I said my peace awhile back and then stepped away from it.
Wow.
I'm just going to leave it right there. Back away from the wreckage.
Awhile back--last summer I believe. I wrote a couple of posts about my friends Nic and Claudia who were dating. Now, in one of the posts I talked about how Claudia had done some things that were kinda "suspicious" to me...but I promised myself I would stay out of it...which I did for the most part other than to let Nic vent.
Long story short, Nic cut back on Claudia some was kinda seeing someone else for a while since their relationship (N and C's I mean) was long distance. I hadn't really talked to Nic that much in the last few months because of a couple of illnesses that keep her in and out of the hospital. I had all but assumed they had stopped dealing with each other...that was last I heard.
Now fast forward to yesterday...
I'm talking to Nic catching up because we haven't really talked in about a month and a half. I'm told Claudia is back in the picture and they've worked everything out and things are stronger than before. I'm thinking ok...positive changes, great for y'all
Oh but WAIT...
Nic hits me with "um yeah Claudia is moving up here and I'm going to propose on Valentine's Day" (I can post this because neither reads this blog)
wait wait wait. pump your brakes and hold on...there are several things wrong with this picture. Let's start with the most obvious...
YOU HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON
To my knowledge...Claudia has not made a trip up and because of health Nic has never made a trip down. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am and if they did meet it was no more than ONCE. WTF???????????
Ok...let's say we can overlook that part... ARE YOU NUTS?
Nevermind that they haven't been together for a solid year. Nevermind that there is an age difference. Nevermind that...
Now...let me say I know both of them... they actually met kinda sideways through me in an online group that I moderate. I don't believe either is mentally unstable...though after that piece of news...iooono ( pronounced just like I wrote it...lol)
SMH. I can't wrap my head around this.
Again I told myself I would stay out of it, but I've been fighting the urge since yesterday to kind of go off on them, but part of me is like you know what...I want to sit back and watch this train wreck, because I said my peace awhile back and then stepped away from it.
Wow.
I'm just going to leave it right there. Back away from the wreckage.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Episode 54- Cut Ties?
I have a hypothetical question for anyone who cares to answer...
Let's say you have been friends with someone for about a year. You talk just about everyday--even if it's just a quick hello. Everything has been cool up to this point, no arguments no drama...
Then all of sudden friend doesn't speak to you for a week.
Now the first few days, you're not overly concerned. People get busy. It happens
By day 3 or 4, you're mildly worried that maybe something is wrong. You try reaching out to them and don't get a reply. At the same time, you see they're posting to their blogs and social networks like crazy (meaning: they had enough time to do all of that, but not enough to at least say "hey I'm breathing"....ok?)
On day 5 you notice that the blog and status messgaes have gotten rather cryptic... several of them make mention of "cutting certain people off" or "getting rid of dead weight"
Then all of a sudden after a full week no contact...the friend contacts you, as if nothing happened.
Now there are a couple of scenarios here: a) it's possible the friend just got super busy and the other stuff had nothing to do with you whatsoever b) it's possible you did/said something that you just don't realize
During the conversation you ask without being overly obvious what they've been up to...and the friend sidesteps the answer or is very vague.
How would you handle this? would you:
a) leave it alone and hope maybe they come around and tell you what's been up
b) flat out ask them (but keep in mind you might not like the answer)
c) say the hell with them and just sideline the friendship because you don't have time for the bs
or perhaps some combination thereof...
Let's say you have been friends with someone for about a year. You talk just about everyday--even if it's just a quick hello. Everything has been cool up to this point, no arguments no drama...
Then all of sudden friend doesn't speak to you for a week.
Now the first few days, you're not overly concerned. People get busy. It happens
By day 3 or 4, you're mildly worried that maybe something is wrong. You try reaching out to them and don't get a reply. At the same time, you see they're posting to their blogs and social networks like crazy (meaning: they had enough time to do all of that, but not enough to at least say "hey I'm breathing"....ok?)
On day 5 you notice that the blog and status messgaes have gotten rather cryptic... several of them make mention of "cutting certain people off" or "getting rid of dead weight"
Then all of a sudden after a full week no contact...the friend contacts you, as if nothing happened.
Now there are a couple of scenarios here: a) it's possible the friend just got super busy and the other stuff had nothing to do with you whatsoever b) it's possible you did/said something that you just don't realize
During the conversation you ask without being overly obvious what they've been up to...and the friend sidesteps the answer or is very vague.
How would you handle this? would you:
a) leave it alone and hope maybe they come around and tell you what's been up
b) flat out ask them (but keep in mind you might not like the answer)
c) say the hell with them and just sideline the friendship because you don't have time for the bs
or perhaps some combination thereof...
Friday, January 22, 2010
Episode 53- Superpowers
Man I don't know what's up with this...
Now I have this weird dream thing going on. Ok wait let me back up and explain. I'm not psychic or clairvoyant or anything like that, but I think maybe awhile back in this blog I explained I have two "super powers" (or as Malika called it a "gift/curse"...lol)
The first one is the ability to talk up events or people at random. Meaning, for instance, I could be having a conversation about something...and it could be far fetched, or about a person I haven't spoken with in awhile and the next thing you know, what I said or the person in question will suddenly materialize. I have never learned to "control" it, which is why I am careful sometimes about what I say because I never know if it may happen. And it DOES happen very often, but as I said it completely works at random. I can't just say I want to win the lottery ( I wish!!!) and win.
The second gift is the dream thing...there is no name for it, I just call it the dream thing. It kind of goes along with the talking stuff up. As long as I can remember I have been a massively hard sleeper...I actually slept through a major earthquake once. Anyway, the deal is 90% of the time I DO NOT remember my dreams. Then there is that other 10%...about 5% are "fish dreams"...
Fish dreams as the old folks tell it mean that someone around you is pregnant. When I have fish dreams I am always right. I don't know why but I am really sensitive to pregnancies. I'll dream about fish in some way shape or form--I never know who it is, but typically within a week or two either someone will call me or I will get the urge to call someone around me and bam...they're preggo. LOL. The best story was at a former job...one of my coworkers was out for the day, so a couple of us went in her office to eat lunch. I told a third coworker while we were sitting in the office that the night before I had had a fish dream. She laughed at me... that was on a Friday. On Monday when co-worker #1 came back to work, we all had lunch together. She said "well I have something to tell you ladies." I said "wait before you do..." I looked at co-worker #2 said "I told you so." and then told #1 to finish her sentence. Sure enough...
So back to the whole dream thing...the last 5% are the seeming random dreams. I say seemingly because I've learned that much like the other power it's randomness works in my favor. I've learned over time that on the rare occassion that I do remember a dream it's typically beacause I need to pay attention to all or part of it...
Which brings me to the last two nights...I have had two very odd dreams in relation to a couple of projects I'm working on. The one that is sitting with me is the one from last night...
I had a dream that I was updating my facebook status...see we're starting off weird already. LOL. I was sitting at my desk typing so it wasn't one of those I'm outside of my body watching myself dreams. On FB I wrote 4 status updates...I actually remember them word for word and they were in this order:
1. I have 3 pieces of news so amazing they each need their own status space...
2. my book not only got picked up by a major publisher, but it got so much buzz they booked me for Good Morning America
3. My group P.H.A.B got signed to a major record label and our first video premieres on MTV and BET this week
4. I just found out I got a $50,000 MacArthur Genius grant
Seriously?
Now the first one is completely plausible. The second...not impossible. The last one...I've never even considered applying for a genius grant so I don't know where the hell that came from...although again not impossible. I probably would kind of sideeye myself and say what was I smoking that night before...if not for the fact that the night before I had a very similar dream regarding the first and second things.
Hmmm... again this is where life is telling me to pay attention.
If any of the above do actually happen...I promise you I will come back to this and literally copy what I just said word for word. All dreams are possible I suppose...
Now I have this weird dream thing going on. Ok wait let me back up and explain. I'm not psychic or clairvoyant or anything like that, but I think maybe awhile back in this blog I explained I have two "super powers" (or as Malika called it a "gift/curse"...lol)
The first one is the ability to talk up events or people at random. Meaning, for instance, I could be having a conversation about something...and it could be far fetched, or about a person I haven't spoken with in awhile and the next thing you know, what I said or the person in question will suddenly materialize. I have never learned to "control" it, which is why I am careful sometimes about what I say because I never know if it may happen. And it DOES happen very often, but as I said it completely works at random. I can't just say I want to win the lottery ( I wish!!!) and win.
The second gift is the dream thing...there is no name for it, I just call it the dream thing. It kind of goes along with the talking stuff up. As long as I can remember I have been a massively hard sleeper...I actually slept through a major earthquake once. Anyway, the deal is 90% of the time I DO NOT remember my dreams. Then there is that other 10%...about 5% are "fish dreams"...
Fish dreams as the old folks tell it mean that someone around you is pregnant. When I have fish dreams I am always right. I don't know why but I am really sensitive to pregnancies. I'll dream about fish in some way shape or form--I never know who it is, but typically within a week or two either someone will call me or I will get the urge to call someone around me and bam...they're preggo. LOL. The best story was at a former job...one of my coworkers was out for the day, so a couple of us went in her office to eat lunch. I told a third coworker while we were sitting in the office that the night before I had had a fish dream. She laughed at me... that was on a Friday. On Monday when co-worker #1 came back to work, we all had lunch together. She said "well I have something to tell you ladies." I said "wait before you do..." I looked at co-worker #2 said "I told you so." and then told #1 to finish her sentence. Sure enough...
So back to the whole dream thing...the last 5% are the seeming random dreams. I say seemingly because I've learned that much like the other power it's randomness works in my favor. I've learned over time that on the rare occassion that I do remember a dream it's typically beacause I need to pay attention to all or part of it...
Which brings me to the last two nights...I have had two very odd dreams in relation to a couple of projects I'm working on. The one that is sitting with me is the one from last night...
I had a dream that I was updating my facebook status...see we're starting off weird already. LOL. I was sitting at my desk typing so it wasn't one of those I'm outside of my body watching myself dreams. On FB I wrote 4 status updates...I actually remember them word for word and they were in this order:
1. I have 3 pieces of news so amazing they each need their own status space...
2. my book not only got picked up by a major publisher, but it got so much buzz they booked me for Good Morning America
3. My group P.H.A.B got signed to a major record label and our first video premieres on MTV and BET this week
4. I just found out I got a $50,000 MacArthur Genius grant
Seriously?
Now the first one is completely plausible. The second...not impossible. The last one...I've never even considered applying for a genius grant so I don't know where the hell that came from...although again not impossible. I probably would kind of sideeye myself and say what was I smoking that night before...if not for the fact that the night before I had a very similar dream regarding the first and second things.
Hmmm... again this is where life is telling me to pay attention.
If any of the above do actually happen...I promise you I will come back to this and literally copy what I just said word for word. All dreams are possible I suppose...
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Episode 52- Karaoke, Boobs, Beer and a Stripper Pole
And this is starting off as an interesting year already...
It started off like this...on Thursday I met up with my friend C. It started out normal enough he and I and my other friend Mia hung out for a little while--which was cool because we hadn't hung out since last month. On Friday C calls me at work because he'd left a book in my car so I told him I'd meet up with him after work, after which since it was Friday we decided to hang out...long story short we met up with C's ex neighbor Darryl and headed over to a local spot for some food and a few drinks.
All of a sudden I see this little man walk out of the back...and I swear if he didn't look like an oompa loompa.
By now the alcohol is kicking in so the jokes are coming. The whole bar is cracking up. We finish eating and decide to head to a karaoke spot. A few more beers later and I'm singing old New Edition songs. LOL.
This must have been short people night, cause now I'm sitting with Darryl and there's this one girl at the end of the bar...all of sudden she stands up and I realize her head barely comes about the top of the bar...now she wasn't a midget...she was just really short and it kinda threw me off, but the funniest part was when I came around by where she was sitting only to realize...she had on 2 or 3 inch heels. Smh.
Now this is the night I wish I'd grabbed my camera...
I preface this next part by saying...the irony of this moment was that C, Darryl and I had JUST had a conversation not an hour before hand about putting our stories together and how we always seem to find ourselves in the funniest situations.
So now it's the end of the night and there are about 8 of us left in the place kinda laughing and talking and this girl (she was about 30) was there with her mother. Well being kinda tipsy themselves they start screaming for the bartender to play some go-go. So he played this...
It started off like this...on Thursday I met up with my friend C. It started out normal enough he and I and my other friend Mia hung out for a little while--which was cool because we hadn't hung out since last month. On Friday C calls me at work because he'd left a book in my car so I told him I'd meet up with him after work, after which since it was Friday we decided to hang out...long story short we met up with C's ex neighbor Darryl and headed over to a local spot for some food and a few drinks.
All of a sudden I see this little man walk out of the back...and I swear if he didn't look like an oompa loompa.
By now the alcohol is kicking in so the jokes are coming. The whole bar is cracking up. We finish eating and decide to head to a karaoke spot. A few more beers later and I'm singing old New Edition songs. LOL.
This must have been short people night, cause now I'm sitting with Darryl and there's this one girl at the end of the bar...all of sudden she stands up and I realize her head barely comes about the top of the bar...now she wasn't a midget...she was just really short and it kinda threw me off, but the funniest part was when I came around by where she was sitting only to realize...she had on 2 or 3 inch heels. Smh.
Now this is the night I wish I'd grabbed my camera...
I preface this next part by saying...the irony of this moment was that C, Darryl and I had JUST had a conversation not an hour before hand about putting our stories together and how we always seem to find ourselves in the funniest situations.
So now it's the end of the night and there are about 8 of us left in the place kinda laughing and talking and this girl (she was about 30) was there with her mother. Well being kinda tipsy themselves they start screaming for the bartender to play some go-go. So he played this...
I don't know what it is about go-go that makes girls act a fool..lol
Next thing you know the girl starts ass shaking...I'm at the end of the bar kind of laughing. Darryl and C are talking and the conversation went something like this.
Darryl: Hey man I'm ready to go cause I gotta go see my girl
C: Cool. I'm kinda watching ass and titties right now so give me 3 mins
Darryl: I'm about to go see naked ass and titties
Not a second later...the girl proceeds to jack her shirt up and all you saw were her boobs...one going one way one going the other...all she needed was some tassles and it'd have been a wrap!! And it wasn't like she did it just for a second...she was full frontal for a good 5 mins.
By now jaws are dropping and I am somewhere in between the jaw drop and laughing.
The rest of the night was another karaoke spot and a few more laughs but maaaaaaan that was hilarious...I even saw a girl with what I swear was a disappearing/reappearing hairline. You had to be there for that one (I will forever be mad at myself for leaving the camera that night)
So to follow that up...after nursing a little beer hangover yesterday, I went to my friend Vette's birthday party last night...
it was a stripper pole party.
It was actually a LOT of fun. We ate, we laughed we took a ton of pictures (note to self that these may in fact be considered "blackmail" pics lol). I may have learned a new pole trick (it's an inverted something or other...lol). I have to say the instructor was really good. I woke up this morning with a mild tequila shot hangover, a bruise, 2 broken nails, but it was all worth it.
Ah how I love a good story weekend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)