I am going to vent for a sec...because maaaaan this right 'chere is some BULLSHIT.
I have tried everything and I do mean EVERYTHING in my power to be nice to my ex, but at the same time get the point across that you need to leave me the hell alone. When nice didn't work I was mean...and I mean MEAN as hell...didn't work. I finally got my point across (so I thought)...a couple of weeks ago, when I said for the 796th time (no bullshit) and I quote "I don't want to TALK to you anymore. EVER! in LIFE!!"
I'm not sure what part of that was unclear...
So a 2 weeks ago I get an email requesting some pictures that were sent to me be returned to sender...I say ok. I sent them, but they're going overseas so they take a minute. Today I get another email asking about the pics...I say they were sent, past that there's nothing else I can do...
This turns into a damn argument...first my ex proceeds to say I have an attitude (well yeah I do because I could've swore I said "didn't speak to me EVER!!" and yet HERE YOU ARE contacting me) and tells me that's why I'm single (actually bitch I'm single because unlike you I choose not to SETTLE for the first person who comes along)...I wasn't even going to grace her with a response until the TABOO subject came up and I couldn't help it...I lit that ass up!
If this was God testing me to see if I've changed...then God help me I failed miserably, but you don't say what was said to me and expect not to get the full wrath...if I was within arms reach this would have been the moment for me to reach out and touch this bitch!
So... I was as nice as I could muster while still reiterating my viewpoint that my ex is an emotionally manipulative, emotionally unstable, psychopathic, asshole. I stand by this opinion. But I had to laugh and feel simultaneously sad because a) you don't seem to see thr irony in YOU contacting ME and ultimately saying "don't call me or contact me anymore"...um I haven't called you in several months...every bit of contact in the last 9 months has been initiated by YOU!!! I purposely lost your number and until today had blocked you from everything EXCEPT MY EMAIL. You were a distant memory sweetheart!! and b) for somebody who doesn't want to talk to me...and claims they regret dating me WHY THE FUCK...would you send me a grand total of (hold on lemme count to make sure I get this right...) SEVEN emails telling me how happy you are in your new relationship and how she's so much better than me and treats you good...like my opinion could or should matter to YOU. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!! << said in my best Chris Tucker voice.
Do you! I'm genuinly happy for you, I'd be more happy if you'd leave me the HELL ALONE. GET THE HELL ON with your "new" relationship. Anyone that "secure" in what they have doesn't need to write 7 emails to their EX trying to convince them that they're "happy" SMH.
I promise you this is the last time I let this bs with S take me out of my zone.
DONE.
Showing posts with label nuts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nuts. Show all posts
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Episode 15- To Be or Not to Be. Who the Hell Cares
I just came across a very interesting discussion on the new social networking site I've been playing with--I'm so addicted...lol. Anyway, I'm paraphrasing, but the question pertained to if you are gay/lesbian/bisexual/whatever whether or not you necessarily need to "come out" to people. Key word being need.
The short version of my answer (in typical me fashion) was:
What? is it like graduating from college? Do I need to write formal announcements and handwritten cards that say "thank you for accepting me" I don't feel like I NEED to come out anymore than I NEED to announce that I'm black. I am what I am. If either one makes a difference in the way you deal with me then you don't NEED to deal with me...
Oh for the record I am bisexual. Have been for a minute. Go figure.
Just so we're clear, I am neither confused or fence straddling. I hate labels. To say I am a lesbian would be completely inaccurate. I still like and/or appreciate men--just so happens I like and/or appreciate women too. It is what it is and I am cool with it. My girlfriend is very aware of it and to this point is cool with it (yes, put two and two together S is a girl--makes so much more sense now huh?).
Yes, I put myself out there, but go back a few sentences... if it makes a difference, in fact if I've grown a third head in the last 30 seconds please let me know. I feel like at this point I'm grown, the hell I have to worry about. Anyone who knows me in the least shouldn't be surprised by anything I say or do anyway. I think I killed my shock value years ago...lol.
Anyway back to the original question...
Whether I think you "need" to come out. Honestly I think you should only tell people on a need to know basis. Um.. the people you are sleeping with or potentially trying to sleep with--need to know. Co-workers--don't need to know unless you're prepared to have them all up in your business. My friends need to (and do) know (how awkward would conversations about our love lives be otherwise...rotfl). My family, some know some don't. This has been a source of conflict with me and S for a few months. I haven't told my mom and step dad up to this point because we'd been going through so much shit I really didn't feel it was appropriate to drop that piece of news on them. I think I dropped enough bombs over baghdad in 2008.
However, last two visits with my mom since the move, I actually tried to tell her. Never happened, not for lack of trying though--she cut me off before I could get to the good part. I mean I could call my mom on the phone and tell her, but I believe that this conversation should take place in person.
This resulted in a long drawn out unnecessary argument with S about a week or two ago. Now, she told her mom--against my advice. Her mother is in somewhat ill health and far more conservative than mine--not to mention she decided to wait until we were in the middle of a break-up to do it. Why, I have no idea, but she made her own bed with that one. Whatever--that is neither here nor there.
So back to the question...
Is it necessary to "come out"?
Or my question, what precisely am I "coming out" of since I have never been in. And even if I do, does it matter and who cares...
Fuck the existential question.
The short version of my answer (in typical me fashion) was:
What? is it like graduating from college? Do I need to write formal announcements and handwritten cards that say "thank you for accepting me" I don't feel like I NEED to come out anymore than I NEED to announce that I'm black. I am what I am. If either one makes a difference in the way you deal with me then you don't NEED to deal with me...
Oh for the record I am bisexual. Have been for a minute. Go figure.
Just so we're clear, I am neither confused or fence straddling. I hate labels. To say I am a lesbian would be completely inaccurate. I still like and/or appreciate men--just so happens I like and/or appreciate women too. It is what it is and I am cool with it. My girlfriend is very aware of it and to this point is cool with it (yes, put two and two together S is a girl--makes so much more sense now huh?).
Yes, I put myself out there, but go back a few sentences... if it makes a difference, in fact if I've grown a third head in the last 30 seconds please let me know. I feel like at this point I'm grown, the hell I have to worry about. Anyone who knows me in the least shouldn't be surprised by anything I say or do anyway. I think I killed my shock value years ago...lol.
Anyway back to the original question...
Whether I think you "need" to come out. Honestly I think you should only tell people on a need to know basis. Um.. the people you are sleeping with or potentially trying to sleep with--need to know. Co-workers--don't need to know unless you're prepared to have them all up in your business. My friends need to (and do) know (how awkward would conversations about our love lives be otherwise...rotfl). My family, some know some don't. This has been a source of conflict with me and S for a few months. I haven't told my mom and step dad up to this point because we'd been going through so much shit I really didn't feel it was appropriate to drop that piece of news on them. I think I dropped enough bombs over baghdad in 2008.
However, last two visits with my mom since the move, I actually tried to tell her. Never happened, not for lack of trying though--she cut me off before I could get to the good part. I mean I could call my mom on the phone and tell her, but I believe that this conversation should take place in person.
This resulted in a long drawn out unnecessary argument with S about a week or two ago. Now, she told her mom--against my advice. Her mother is in somewhat ill health and far more conservative than mine--not to mention she decided to wait until we were in the middle of a break-up to do it. Why, I have no idea, but she made her own bed with that one. Whatever--that is neither here nor there.
So back to the question...
Is it necessary to "come out"?
Or my question, what precisely am I "coming out" of since I have never been in. And even if I do, does it matter and who cares...
Fuck the existential question.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Episode 14- Secret Squirrel
Man oh man I just had an adventure worthy of a JS Moment. And it's only the beginning of January. LOL.
So my a friend of mine called me a little while ago and tells me she's going to stop by my house for a few...actually she picked me up so we could go play Secret Squirrel.
Secret Squirrel is spying on your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/significant other
Gotta tell you a little back story on this. My friend (we'll call her J) is dealing with a very well off, very cute, very married (but currently separated) man. Given the circumstances of their (ahem) arrangement there are some inherent trust issues so she wanted to do a drive his job and see if he was being a good little boy.
So you know me...anything for the betterment of mankind--that's what we did. LMAO. Now mind you I haven't done one of my little stealth missions in minute. We get up there and park like across from the building--you can kinda see in and everything looks all good. After about a half hour or so he leaves and his business associate who was also there leaves. Now I had parallel parked the car across the street next to a fence to get a good vantage point and so we wouldn't been seen--you would've had to be looking to find us, plus I was parked behind an SUV.
Wouldn't you know ol' boy's business associate owned the SUV!!
He starts walking over towards the car. J is hiding in the passenger seat trying to scootch down with her hat on her face because this guy has met her before. Me on the other hand, I don't move cause I'm thinking maybe he won't notice me--which of course he sees me but I start giving the look like what--I'm waiting on someone so I think he saw me but he didn't acknowledge me so I just chilled until he left. Maaaaaaan that was some funny shyt right there. I think we laughed all the way back to the house. I was like what if we had got busted...
I'm a grown ass woman dog! Ionevenno (read: I don't even know...lol). I mean at that point in the game what do you even say or do if you get busted. Damn, you couldn't even lie about it...lol
Well, see, what had happened was...
I am so glad I can laugh at myself.
The good news is no news...he really was being good--at least momentarily. The world is safe for now from evil doers and cheating boyfriends.
So my a friend of mine called me a little while ago and tells me she's going to stop by my house for a few...actually she picked me up so we could go play Secret Squirrel.
Secret Squirrel is spying on your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/significant other
Gotta tell you a little back story on this. My friend (we'll call her J) is dealing with a very well off, very cute, very married (but currently separated) man. Given the circumstances of their (ahem) arrangement there are some inherent trust issues so she wanted to do a drive his job and see if he was being a good little boy.
So you know me...anything for the betterment of mankind--that's what we did. LMAO. Now mind you I haven't done one of my little stealth missions in minute. We get up there and park like across from the building--you can kinda see in and everything looks all good. After about a half hour or so he leaves and his business associate who was also there leaves. Now I had parallel parked the car across the street next to a fence to get a good vantage point and so we wouldn't been seen--you would've had to be looking to find us, plus I was parked behind an SUV.
Wouldn't you know ol' boy's business associate owned the SUV!!
He starts walking over towards the car. J is hiding in the passenger seat trying to scootch down with her hat on her face because this guy has met her before. Me on the other hand, I don't move cause I'm thinking maybe he won't notice me--which of course he sees me but I start giving the look like what--I'm waiting on someone so I think he saw me but he didn't acknowledge me so I just chilled until he left. Maaaaaaan that was some funny shyt right there. I think we laughed all the way back to the house. I was like what if we had got busted...
I'm a grown ass woman dog! Ionevenno (read: I don't even know...lol). I mean at that point in the game what do you even say or do if you get busted. Damn, you couldn't even lie about it...lol
Well, see, what had happened was...
I am so glad I can laugh at myself.
The good news is no news...he really was being good--at least momentarily. The world is safe for now from evil doers and cheating boyfriends.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
(Finally?) Happy New Year
New Years always reminds me of that scene in Forrest Gump:
I feel a lot like that.
I'm spending my New Year's alone.
Sorta by choice. I knew ahead of time that S and I would not be together on New Year's so in that respect I was content with the situation seeing as how there's really nothing either of us can do about it. I could've gone out to party, but honestly I have no desire to be around anyone and celebrating when truly I don't have much to celebrate. I have my health and my family's health and a great kid and such but truth be told I really feel sorta...
empty
Does that sound weird? I mean I'm drained emotionally from all the b.s. I've had to deal with this year ("killa kung fu wolf bitch" as my friend Kyle called her, immediately comes to mind-but that is another story). I feel like I have accomplished nothing--or at least not much. I want things to be better in so many places in my life. I know that in order for that to happen I need to clear some things with certain people and issues in my life.
Since I am going to be celebrating alone tonight, I thought I would bring it in with a sense of peace because I want that to carry over into the new year--a hot bath, a pedicure, a glass of champagne, my pen and a playlist to meditate with.
I don't have any resolutions this year except the one I discussed with S yesterday--that I will save too for another blog because believe me it is well worthy of it's own Jerry Springer moment. lol. It is what it is, right S? lol
If anything, I just want my new year to be...happy, finally.
I feel a lot like that.
I'm spending my New Year's alone.
Sorta by choice. I knew ahead of time that S and I would not be together on New Year's so in that respect I was content with the situation seeing as how there's really nothing either of us can do about it. I could've gone out to party, but honestly I have no desire to be around anyone and celebrating when truly I don't have much to celebrate. I have my health and my family's health and a great kid and such but truth be told I really feel sorta...
empty
Does that sound weird? I mean I'm drained emotionally from all the b.s. I've had to deal with this year ("killa kung fu wolf bitch" as my friend Kyle called her, immediately comes to mind-but that is another story). I feel like I have accomplished nothing--or at least not much. I want things to be better in so many places in my life. I know that in order for that to happen I need to clear some things with certain people and issues in my life.
Since I am going to be celebrating alone tonight, I thought I would bring it in with a sense of peace because I want that to carry over into the new year--a hot bath, a pedicure, a glass of champagne, my pen and a playlist to meditate with.
I don't have any resolutions this year except the one I discussed with S yesterday--that I will save too for another blog because believe me it is well worthy of it's own Jerry Springer moment. lol. It is what it is, right S? lol
If anything, I just want my new year to be...happy, finally.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Episode 13- Mixed Nuts
There's an article posted today called:
How Visiting Family Warps Your Brain
LMAO!!! Woo boy, I know they must've been talking about me and the nuts I call relatives. Check out this IM I got from my BFF about the article:
roni: hey u see on yahoo how visiting your family warps your brain?
dd6998: YES!!! ROTFL
roni: i know!!
roni: lmao
dd6998: why does that not surprise me?
roni: look at ur family
roni: rotlf
dd6998: EXACTLY!!! ROTFL
That's a shame my best friend of 30 years knows how jacked up we are. LMAO. Why lie. I'm cool with it. I accept that I will never change them. But that's ok. Actually they only drove me slightly nuts at Christmas this year. I told you the pointy end of the stick was off me this time. 
Plus I spent some time with my cousins in the evening after baby girl went to sleep which kept me out of the house and away from the dreaded conversation. Nothing like kicking back with some beer and Guitar Hero to take your mind off things. Yeah I said it...lmao.
Plus I spent some time with my cousins in the evening after baby girl went to sleep which kept me out of the house and away from the dreaded conversation. Nothing like kicking back with some beer and Guitar Hero to take your mind off things. Yeah I said it...lmao.As you can see, this nut didn't fall too far from the family tree either.
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