Episode 1-When Good Relationships Go Bad

Last night I officially became single again.

Can't say that I am happy. Not as upset as I figure I should be...considering. Wasn't a particularly traumatic breakup, I've had far worse believe you me.

It was done over the phone. No hang ups--well at least not in the literal sense.

I even did the thing I NEVER do and gave the "out"...you know the "out"--let me make this easier on you because obviously you're having trouble with this so I'll lend you a plausible reason to justify you obviously twisted logic for rolling out just so I can spare myself the agony and extra unnecessary drama--

What I said: Well, if that's the way you feel, then I guess I can respect that

What I was actually thinking: Are you f'ing serious?

I handled it quite well if I do say so myself. No crying, no begging, no cussing, no threats to pull a Jazmine Sullivan and go busting out car windows. Nope not I. Suffice it to say, you caught me on a good day.

And for all my good will and humanity I get a bunch of calls, emails and texts today telling me what a mistake it was and you want to work it out. You think?

To quote the great philosopher and beloved hero Tweety Bird, "he don't know me verwy well do he?"

I'm gonna let you sit and pontificate on that for a sec, because your issues are just that, your issues. We'll see how I feel tomorrow or perhaps the day after when you get some act right in your system.

And now for my final thought: Relationships are like 401Ks. You have to contribute and I'll match. It takes a while to be fully vested and there are penalties from early withdrawl.