(Finally?) Happy New Year

New Years always reminds me of that scene in Forrest Gump:





I feel a lot like that.

I'm spending my New Year's alone.

Sorta by choice. I knew ahead of time that S and I would not be together on New Year's so in that respect I was content with the situation seeing as how there's really nothing either of us can do about it. I could've gone out to party, but honestly I have no desire to be around anyone and celebrating when truly I don't have much to celebrate. I have my health and my family's health and a great kid and such but truth be told I really feel sorta...

empty

Does that sound weird? I mean I'm drained emotionally from all the b.s. I've had to deal with this year ("killa kung fu wolf bitch" as my friend Kyle called her, immediately comes to mind-but that is another story). I feel like I have accomplished nothing--or at least not much. I want things to be better in so many places in my life. I know that in order for that to happen I need to clear some things with certain people and issues in my life.

Since I am going to be celebrating alone tonight, I thought I would bring it in with a sense of peace because I want that to carry over into the new year--a hot bath, a pedicure, a glass of champagne, my pen and a playlist to meditate with.

I don't have any resolutions this year except the one I discussed with S yesterday--that I will save too for another blog because believe me it is well worthy of it's own Jerry Springer moment. lol. It is what it is, right S? lol

If anything, I just want my new year to be...happy, finally.